Old Fashioned Mom

Lori - posted on 07/07/2015 ( 40 moms have responded )

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I am a believer in old fashioned methods of discipline and looking for other moms who feel the same way. Do you believe in spanking toddlers?

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♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 10/28/2015

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Ms. Dennis, how in the world did you read my post to mean that my kids are 'perfect', and "better" than you because my husband and I have remained in a solid relationship for over 25 years?????? That was the most blatant misinterpretation I've seen in a LONG time.

Yes, I use caps for EMPHASIS. I take it that you read my sentence with caps (The only one in the entire post) to be YOUR KIDS, rather than ALL KIDS. You most definitely missed the line where I said " I'm a farily strict disciplinarian, as is my hubs. (both of our kids are our biological kids, no steps in this house). Even with that, and with both of our kids (now adults) being highly respected, there were some issues as teens. ALL KIDS will have issues of some sort that you never would imagine "your kid" as going through"

ALL KIDS will have at least ONE issue with disobedience, making a stupid choice, etc, as they grow up. That did NOT say "My kids are PERFECT and you are scum", or anything else of the sort.

No, Ms. Dennis, we are most definitely NOT in HS any more...which is why, as ADULTS, we can have conversations without pulling "hidden" meanings where there are none. That also means, as adults, that instead of taking our toys and running home when someone upsets us, we address it directly, and without twisting the words of others to fit into what you THINK we meant.

No one was ganging up on anyone. I simply stated that I'd like to see your answers to Sarah's questions. Apparently that's a hot button issue (having someone ask you to actually answer the questions instead of skirting them), so that will be that. You're "done" responding, so...whatever.

Sarah - posted on 10/29/2015

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OK you are not answering my question. I am not asking you to defend your choice to spank. I am not a spanker but I respect a parents right to discipline as they see fit until it crosses to abuse. As I school nurse I see many spanked kids, some have been beaten some have just gotten a swat or two.
That is not the issue at hand for me. I want to understand from your heat what you believe spanking teaches? Are you a biblical spanker "spare the rod and spoil the child:"? Are you a consequence spanker; you did A so now you get B? Help me understand the thought process. I am not trying to sound condescending. I know million s of parents were spanked as children and turned out to be wonderful functioning adults I also see many spanked kids who are doing well in school and seem unfazed by corporal punishment in the home.
When you (Stephanie and Olivia) say I'd try everything else first and then spank, can you define everything?
I don't believe that spanking or not spanking raises a good kid. I am not a spanker and I have a son who is a West Point Cadet this year, a 16 yo duaghter with a 4.2 GPA and getting athletic scholarship offers everyday. My 13 yo is a smart-mouth but is in that testing the limits phase and my 11 yo is a joy. I never spanked. Now, can you show me a family identical to mine that were spanked, sure. What I am trying to understand is why do spankers believe that is the right option and how do you define spanking form abuse?
I read posts that say; "I spanked my children every week, twice a week, everyday" "I spanked my teen naked across my lap" " I spank my kids bare bottom ntil their butt is bright red and my hand is numb" "I think that humiliation is part of what makes spanking successful"
It is these posts I don't get, so if you feel you are a "successful" spanker, please explain your rational to me. How was I able to raise four healthy, obedient, faithful, successful children without ever hitting them one time? Did I have to take some extreme measures once with my eldest, yes and it was hard, but he learned and his siblings witnesses his consequence and ever since that day 5 years ago, I have never had to to do more than reline my kids that obedience is not negotiable.

Stephanie - posted on 10/29/2015

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Yes i think there is a good way of doing it. I was spanked as a child and i turned out fine. I have 2 teenagers both were appropriatly spanked and they are fine. So if u spank in the correct way and not "abuse" i feel it is very important to keep from raising a bad child.

Sarah - posted on 10/29/2015

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Wow one busy day and parent meetings and I missed the fun!
Olivia, at least you responded- so thanks, however:
" For example, now I'm just interpreting from your comment Ms. Sarah E, from what I get from your response is like you're saying a grown child(adults) also shouldn't be punished for their doing wrong?" Uh, where is my entire post did you see anything that remotely inferred that sentiment?

Here is my post:
If anyone can really defend hitting a child to teach them right from wrong, I'd like to hear it. Not just that if they do wrong they get hurt....duh.
But really how does hitting your child teach empathy, responsibility and compassion? If you don't do as I say, you get your butt beat.....? If you obey you avoid abuse? I just don't get it? What does a child really learn from a spanking? That you are the boss? Should they not already know that? Really I want to know why you spank. Obviously is is a routine for some families, add up the disobedience and Sunday is spank day. Others spank on a whim. why? I really want to know. . How is spanking a more effective method than other form of discipline? Why is spanking better than limiting privileges?

Where in there did I ever allude adults not paying consequences for breaking the law or wrongdoing?

I think my questions were pretty specific; I want to know why spanking parents think it is a better option that other forms of discipline?
Now can you clarify this statement:
" Most of the time when kids are shown what jail is or what bad behavior is, they end up doing so. I've witnessed it happen many of times."
And this statement:
"No spankings aren't better than limited privileges, but if that doesn't work, what are you gonna do next? " I would like to know how far would you be willing to go with limiting privileges before you decides that spanking is your only alternative? I want to know, I am not picking a fight. I'd like the perspective from pro-spankers, especially the ones who spank daily or weekly. Why is this the method you chose and do you truly find it effective? What do you think your child learns from being spanked?

To clarify your misunderstanding, I do not think that adults should not face consequences for their mistakes. If they break the law, they face fines, and confinements. If they lie, they deal with the consequence of distrust and loss of respect from peers or family members.

Olivia - posted on 10/28/2015

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This is my opinion take it however you'd like.... Spanking to me when needed when all else fails teaches them that I'm not going to put up with bad behavior. Also teaches them that I'm telling you not to do certain things for a reason. There's a reason for everything. And no if they ok obey, they avoid abuse. When my girls act as supposed to as young ladies should, they get rewarded such as last week we went skating because my daughter got on the color blue on her chart(means excellent). No spankings are not better than other disciplines but when nothing else works, yes I believe in spankings. Most of the time when kids are shown what jail is or what bad behavior is, they end up doing so. I've witnessed it happen many of times. No spankings aren't better than limited privileges, but if that doesn't work, what are you gonna do next? Sending them off for someone else to deal with them usually doesn't end well and I've seen this happen before. So no I'm not saying spankings are the number one answer but there's I'd rather give my children a spanking then send them jail or let them witness it.

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Dove - posted on 10/29/2015

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It's easier to give suggestions when a person knows the problems as it's typically 'best' to tailor the response to the specific wrongdoing.

Ev - posted on 10/29/2015

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You have to take the age of the child and the consequence into a good thought process and make sure it fits the age of the child. At 6 years, its extreme to take things away for 2 weeks or ground them for two weeks. My dad grounded my 11 year old sister for two weeks because she stayed too long at a friends house by making her stay at home that two weeks and not allowed to go anywhere. And making kids do chores for two weeks for punishment....I can not see that either. Chores should not be a punishment because 9 times out of 10 those things they are gonna need to know when they grow up and if used as punishment too much of the time will make it harder later to get them to do those same chores. Unless you use one chore in particular that they hate to do otherwise. And as for spanking 10 times on a bare bottom.....too extreme.

Dove - posted on 10/29/2015

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No child needs spanked and 10 swats on a bare butt is excessive and abuse. I hope someone reports you to protect your children. If you are going to spank ONE or two swats on a clothed bottom... anything more... and just stop. Your children deserve better.

Sandra Van - posted on 10/29/2015

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I spank my daughters whenever needed and thats 5,6 times a year and they all get 10 swats on the bare bottom to get their attention

Olivia - posted on 10/29/2015

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I don't consider it that way because she actually learned the lesson. I've tried the 2-3,day grounding and that didn't work. I am always doing repetition with them. My 6 year old is reading better because of repetition. I can't remember the last time I've given either of them a spanking. I've been using the other ways and they have been working. I just need different ways to teach her sight words and reading. :-)

Dove - posted on 10/29/2015

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Repetition is needed for MOST kids... a lot of repetition. It doesn't mean that the consequence is no good... It is simply normal for kids to push boundaries and test that what mom did last week for something is what mom will do again this week for the same thing.

Personally I think grounding a 6 year old for 2 weeks is pretty excessive. 2-3 days would be more appropriate and hold the lesson better. Taking away playtime for a child is actually counterproductive. They NEED to play... get out, be active, have fun... turning your child into a 'slave' for 2 weeks is definitely extreme.

Olivia - posted on 10/29/2015

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Yes, everything for me such as 5min time out for my oldest, no tablet for 2 weeks, chores(dishes, sweeping, laundry, help straightening up the house) for those two weeks, no cartoons, no play time, I'll take the toy they really love and won't give it back for about a week, etc.The list could go on. Some kids, it takes longer for them to pick up what you're trying to tell them.

Ev - posted on 10/29/2015

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I understand that each set of parents have their ways to exact the punishments/consequences as they see fit. But those that use spanking only have to understand that after while spanking is not a fit punishment anymore. After a child gets to a certain age, they do understand what they are told better, why they can not do or have the things they want, and so on. Those with kids that go to extreme unsafe behavior need more help than mere spankings or other consequences because those no longer work and spanking could make the situation worse. Also teens do not need spankings anymore...there is no point. You make the punishment fit the crime...sneak out loose time with friends to go places, do not do homework....can not do other fun things until it is done....too much phone time....loose that.....there are other methods. ALso spanking a teen can be considered assult in some places. You just have to be careful how you spank, when you spank, and why you spank if that is your calling for punishment. But I think it is more than time to stop when your child comes and tells you it does no good. My son did this to his father. But that is all his dad wanted to do instead of coming up with something more fitting.

Olivia - posted on 10/29/2015

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I understand I've gotta deal with school work, keeping my girls a little calm. They love to try to run around the house. Yes I believe in spankings but for things such as if I tell my oldest, if she's on punishment which is very rare: don't get up from the bed unless you have to use the bathroom, because of their age differences they like to see how much wrong they can get away with. An example: my 6 year old was watching tv one day & my 2 year old stood right in front and wouldn't move. My 6 year pushed my 2 year old. Now I asked my 6 year old what happened and she lied and said she didn't do anything. My 2 year old showed me what happened. I talked to my 6 year old and explained why lying is bad but in order for her to feel how my 2 year old felt, I barely pushed her so she could see how unexpected it was and how she hurt her sisters feelings. She was excluded from cartoons that night and no tablet for 2 weeks. I will try any and everything else before a spanking, that will never be my first choice to a reaction with my girls. It is an effective method when we are out when I know they know how to behave and they think it's funny. I explain about why it's not ok and tell them to never do it again. You're welcome for responding. :-)

Olivia - posted on 10/28/2015

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Thank you Dove, I am open to better ways of handling situations. Didn't think of it that way. ;-)

Dove - posted on 10/28/2015

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Having a different opinion and trying to shed some reality on a situation is not ganging up on you... just because we all happen to have a similar opinion that is against yours. Generally when that happens and the people talking to you mostly have OLDER (including adult) children... that kind of means a little something. ;)

Olivia - posted on 10/28/2015

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I'm done responding back to this non sense. But to make everyone feel better, you're all right. Ridiculous, can't have a discussion without people trying to gang up on you all at once. Last I heard, I was out of high school. I'm not feeding into this mess no more. Peace!!!

Dove - posted on 10/28/2015

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All kids do/will have issues.... that's not a slight against you. That's a fact of all human beings on the planet.

This isn't a racial issue or a split family issue or anything else. It's a HUMAN issue.

Other than that I'm completely lost as to what the heck your latest comment is talking about.

I will say that NO child on the planet NEEDS spanked. It's the parents that need to spank either because they don't know any better (which is not an insult... many, many awesome parents get to that point where they don't know what else to do or think it's the right thing to do based on their pasts) or they don't care to do better for their kids.

Olivia - posted on 10/28/2015

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I didn't misread what she said. But it's fine and I see how you put all in caps and are trying to put forth that your kids are better than me just because they are with their original father. But it's cool. Nobody needs to know my whole life story. But I am very blessed to have my two young black beautiful girls. But if y'all are gonna make this a only certain kids are well behaved more than others it's cool. I forgive you but don't act like everything in the world is just peachy. There is no such thing as a perfect life but I'll let y'all keep giving me negative feedback and keep a smile on my face. Goodnight!!! :-)

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 10/28/2015

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There's a difference between a pop on the butt to get a kid's attention before they are old enough to comprehend simple instructions, and abusing a child old enough to communicate.

I spanked. Until my kids were about 2-3 and we could resolve things in a conversation with appropriate consequences. Once my kids were that age, corporal punishment stopped.

I would like to see Olivia's answers to Sarah's questions. Olivia sidestepped that by 'misreading' Sarah's post to be that adults/adult children should not be punished. Nowhere was that stated.

Lori (OP) Spanking is fine, if your kid is too young to understand conversation. Once they reach that point, spanking is a method of demonstrating dominance over a smaller or weaker person...which is essentially bullying.

Now, before anyone starts in, I'm a farily strict disciplinarian, as is my hubs. (both of our kids are our biological kids, no steps in this house). Even with that, and with both of our kids (now adults) being highly respected, there were some issues as teens. ALL KIDS will have issues of some sort that you never would imagine "your kid" as going through...so don't be surprised if yours don't as well. That doesn't make corporal punishment the acceptable route as they get older.

Raye - posted on 10/28/2015

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There is a difference in swatting a bottom to get attention, and going too far with spanking. My dad broke a 1/2 inch thick wooden paddle on my 6 y/o butt. That was too far. My mom would spank me and my sister, and as we got older she realized it wasn't working anymore. We had other consequences for different things as well... grounding, no TV, no (landline) phone, missing extracurricular activities. One punishment that affected me most of all was when I won a writing competition and was moved on to state level... I skipped school and my mom didn't allow me to go to the competition. I didn't understand how, because I missed school, I couldn't go to an academic competition (and it didn't deter me from skipping, just made me resentful of my mom). It's similar to trying to teach your child not to hit by hitting them, and doesn't make sense.

My husband spanks his kids occasionally, and I'm not completely against spanking, but in the car last weekend he swatted the boy for hitting the girl, and I almost had to laugh because it was absurd. I have never spanked them, and probably never will.

Olivia - posted on 10/28/2015

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I know this. My biological father abused me at the age of 2. That's why I'm grateful my mom married to the person I call dad today.

Jodi - posted on 10/28/2015

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I didn't say they were JUST abused kids, I said they were possibly also children who have either had childhood trauma of some kind or some other extenuating circumstances. Childhood trauma is not always obvious to the observer and often doesn't come to light until that child has already experienced behavioural issues and is having supports put in place around that. Just because you have been around these children doesn't mean you know their circumstances from birth.

Olivia - posted on 10/28/2015

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I understand what you are saying Jodi but I've been around kids who haven't been abused by any means and they are just terrible. My daughter goes to school with kids who give her mixed signals on who she should be friends with, this is how it starts. I teach my girls to be kind and courtious to people. I've been out in public before and my kids have misbehaved and you have parents who are probably like the people responding to me frowning upon how I raise my children. And I have other parents who say that I'm doing a great job. I'm sorry if this is a personal subject for people, but again there is no such thing as perfect in this world. I will not be on until later so if anyone else would like to respond, I'll respond then. I have to get my 2 year old down for a nap so I can help my 6 year old with her homework when she gets home from school later. Goodbye for now. :-)

Jodi - posted on 10/28/2015

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" what I get from your response is like you're saying a grown child(adults) also shouldn't be punished for their doing wrong"

Actually, Sarah wasn't saying that adults shouldn't be punished for doing wrong. Of course there are consequences for actions. Just as there should be for children. But can I ask when the last time was YOU were hit for doing the wrong thing as an adult? Oh, that's right.....that would be assault. Now explain to us how it is NOT assault when you hit someone smaller than you.

"I'm not gonna repeat my rules over to my children. I tell them one time."

Clearly you don't understand how a child's brain learns. Repetition is EXACTLY how a child learns. Why do you think children love repetition? (Watching the same TV show, reading the same book, repeating themselves over and over to you....) Because THAT is how they learn. It is ridiculous to think a young child will learn a rule if you tell it to them once. This learning principle dates back to Aristotle: "“it is frequent repetition that produces a natural tendency”.

Growth of neural connections in the brain, is strengthened through repetition. A one-time experience is not enough for a neural connection to form and stabilise. Behaving a certain way does not become automatic with one repetition of the rule.

" I refuse to mix parenting with being their friend."

I'm confused how someone who doesn't spank is mixing parenting with being their friend.

" I'm just saying for instance for some of the parents who say their kids are uncontrollable like on some of the tv shows such as kids threatening to do something terrible to their parents or friends, you think they deserve a time out or something taken away from them? "

I think you will find that most of these children have received some kind of abuse. I work with teenagers and the ones who have these issues you are talking about have come from homes where there are extenuating family circumstances, abuse or some form of extreme trauma. It's never as simple as what has been presented on reality TV.

Ev - posted on 10/28/2015

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I am no perfect parent by no means. I used techniques that worked with both my kids for the most part. Both are no adults and one has kids. Those kids are being raised in simila fashion as to how I did my kids. What helps is that the other set of grandparents are there a lot with them too and so my granddaughter and son are both listening at ages of 3 and 1. We can walk through a store with my granddaughter walking beside us with not holding hands and not running off for example. She holds hands in the parking lot. When she ried to get out of things, if I am around sometimes I can get her to do what her mom can not. Same with grandson. And to my knowwledge they are not spanked.

Olivia - posted on 10/28/2015

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Thank you for your response but as every parent knows, kids are going to do everything they can to push your buttons but all the time outs in the world aren't going to do nothing for the younger kids who are in jail as we speak. A time out or taking away stuff was done probably all before it got to that point. Thanks for quoting and explaining your point of view. I appreciate the feedback from people but I like being able to have open discussions. Everyone have a great evening!!! :-)

Ev - posted on 10/28/2015

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{{I'm just saying for instance for some of the parents who say their kids are uncontrollable like on some of the tv shows such as kids threatening to do something terrible to their parents or friends, you think they deserve a time out or something taken away from them? }} I have actually read posts on here where the kids are doing those awful things such as hitting, running off, and other terrible things to their parents who have tried everything else. In that case the kids need more than discipline....they need intervention because most times parents have used every last thing they know of and it did not work so getting the juvenile authorities involved or even counseling is the only other option to them.. Spanking at this time is pointless.

{{They need to know their are bad things that will happen to you because of it. And scaring a kid with a movie, what good is that gonna do if they end up with the wrong crowd in high school when a majority of dumb stuff happens.}}
I used that example with my daughter because she was 4 at the time and not in high school. You said your kids were only what 6 and 2. Using the cartoon she had watched several times over and knew what had happened to the kids was an example for her to understand that if she took off and someone found her she might not see us again. When kids hit the teen years hopefully a parent has taught them enough by that point to make the right choices in making friends and the correct behavior for certain situations. No movie is going to scare a kid that age but as in the Movie Taken where the girl begs her daddy to sign for her to get a passport to go with friends to Europe for part of a summer when he knew what could happen to her and tried to tell her can show kids some of the realities of what can happen in that situation. She ended up being taken by sex slave traders to be sold to the highest bidder because her friend failed to mention that the cousins were not there at all. The friend ended up dead as a result and the girl almost ended up in a harem of some shiek. Point is spanking in this case would not work either. You have to use other methods with older kids and teens for consequences. What I was doing was with a 4 year old.

{{ They need to be taught to get their act together..... }} Yes, kids need to be taught this but at the same time spanking does not teach that in all things.

{{That being said, I'm not disagreeing or agreeing with what you said but I get tired of people acting like a spanking is just the upmost worst thing that happens to a child.}} It can be the worst thing that happens to children. I have seen bruises on a child because the parent spanked so hard with a belt! Is that going to teach a child anything?
{{ I call it disciplining and no law or anyone else is going to change the way I parent. }} You will think twice if in your area it is not lawful to do so and someone reports you for it. You should be careful when spanking if you do because some people will call it in no matter of the law or not.
{{Sorry if that hurts people's feelings but my girls are well behaved because of it. They know if I have to repeat myself, I'm taking something they really like away from them such as tablets,favorite toys, no tv, etc. I like these open conversations but there is no such thing as perfect.}} You will discipline as you want but I still actively request you be careful. And if you are taking away things or priviledges then how is that not enough alone...why does spanking have to be involved at all?

Olivia - posted on 10/28/2015

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Evelyn- I grew up with spankings and I'm glad I got them. My parents tried everything else before it got to that point. I'm just saying for instance for some of the parents who say their kids are uncontrollable like on some of the tv shows such as kids threatening to do something terrible to their parents or friends, you think they deserve a time out or something taken away from them? They need to know their are bad things that will happen to you because of it. And scaring a kid with a movie, what good is that gonna do if they end up with the wrong crowd in high school when a majority of dumb stuff happens. They need to be taught to get their act together..... That being said, I'm not disagreeing or agreeing with what you said but I get tired of people acting like a spanking is just the upmost worst thing that happens to a child. I call it disciplining and no law or anyone else is going to change the way I parent. Sorry if that hurts people's feelings but my girls are well behaved because of it. They know if I have to repeat myself, I'm taking something they really like away from them such as tablets,favorite toys, no tv, etc. I like these open conversations but there is no such thing as perfect.

Ev - posted on 10/28/2015

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Olivia--I grew up in a time where spanking was considered a just form of punishment or consequence for actions a child took. But I was not spanked but one or two times in my life by my mother. And I will tell you why she never touched me otherwise: Back when she was growing up she witnessed a lot of that used in an abusive way and she vowed she would not do so with her own kids. My dad on the other hand would have spanked up but he never had to. We kne the minute he knew we did something we were getting it. So our parents used other methods to get our attention so show us that they meant what they said from being told no to telling us not to do things to the things we needed to do. When I had kids who are both now adults, I used several ways to get across right and wrong and behaviors that were acceptable. Going to the store they knew they could not get anything for the asking unless it was for their birthday list or Christmas list. They were taught to stay at the cart with me first holding the cart and then working their way from the handle down to the end before being hands free. They held hands walking in a parking lot or crossing streets. They knew I meant when I said no to things and they also knew why. My daughter was a very easy child to get to do what I wanted but one time she wanted to run under clothes racks at thhe store. I finally got a hold of her and took her to the car where we waited for her dad and I asked her if she wanted to end up like Hansel and Gretel in the cartoon she had at home because what she did would make it possible for her to be taken. She said no and the scared look on her face at the idea told me she understood what I meant. My son when he got older would throw a knock down drag out fit. I made him go to his room that time and miss watching movies because he ruined the original plan for the family going to see a movie at the drive in. Later he was given sentences to do and it always went with what he had done such as I will not hit or I will show respect....writtten out 50 time or more each. He even went back and corrected the mistakes. After he was older he knew I meant business and he was a lot taller than me and could have used his height and weight advantages. But he knew I would not take it. He either did what was expected or dealt with the consequences. He told me a few years after his dad and I divorced that is dad would spank him for getting in trouble for different things and told me to my face that spanking did nothing for him. This coming from a kid who knew it.

So you can not tell us that spanking is the only way to handle situations. As toddlers I did smack hands or bums a few times when I really needed to get attention. Mostly a dangerous sitation such as a hot stove even though I would remind them time and again that it was hot and would hurt the baby. And you do have to watch the spanking: In some states and places it is against the law. You should check with your area to be sure that its not against the law because in some places its considered abuse.

Olivia - posted on 10/28/2015

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It's about getting your child to listen and understand that you set rules for a reason. For example, now I'm just interpreting from your comment Ms. Sarah E, from what I get from your response is like you're saying a grown child(adults) also shouldn't be punished for their doing wrong?.... I'm just saying we can take it back to the old skool days where people got spanked over small things, I don't do that. But, I'm not gonna repeat my rules over to my children. I tell them one time, they're at the age where I can take away their tablets, toys, something they really like. I discipline my 2 year old and 6 year old the same. Neither one is going to hit and think it's ok. They're going to understand there are bullies and mean people in the world. Also, they're going to understand there are bad people in the world and that's what jail is for but I refuse to mix parenting with being their friend. We can be friends as they get older, right now they need to understand the difference between right and wrong.

Sarah - posted on 10/28/2015

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If anyone can really defend hitting a child to teach them right from wrong, I'd like to hear it. Not just that if they do wrong they get hurt....duh.
But really how does hitting your child teach empathy, responsibility and compassion? If you don't do as I say, you get your butt beat.....? If you obey you avoid abuse? I just don't get it? What does a child really learn from a spanking? That you are the boss? Should they not already know that? Really I want to know why you spank. Obviously is is a routine for some families, add up the disobedience and Sunday is spank day. Others spank on a whim. why? I really want to know. . How is spanking a more effective method than other form of discipline? Why is spanking better than limiting privileges?

Olivia - posted on 10/28/2015

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I believe in spankings. That's how I was raised and it taught me a lot. There is such a thing as going too far. I tried all other methods with my kids and a spanking is the only one they understand. People frown upon me for doing so but that doesn't bother me. Every child is different and every child will take differently to consequences.

Sandra Van - posted on 10/28/2015

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Hi lori I am a pro spanking mom I have 3 daughters and I spank them all I like to chat with you

Jodi - posted on 07/07/2015

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Here's the thing. Many people continue to spank because "that's how it was done in the old days and if it was okay for me, then it's okay for my kids". That's akin to suggesting we should continue using washboards for our laundry, rather than taking on the opportunity of the automatic washing machine because the washboard was just fine for our parents/grandparents. The fact is, there ARE newer, better and more respectful methods of disciplining children. Children are people too. If you hit your husband for doing the wrong thing, that would be called assault, and yet it's okay to hit a person that is smaller than you? In a school yard, that would be considered bullying. In the adult world it would be considered assault. Interpret that as you wish.

Dove - posted on 07/07/2015

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I used to... then I realized how stupid and pointless it is to spank a child.

Jodi - posted on 07/07/2015

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Why would you hit your kids when there are other perfectly good alternatives that don't involve teaching them that physical violence is ok?

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