Omg! My 17 yr old daughter is visiting her dad in Ohio for her month summer visit and they changed her ticket form3 additional weeks and didn't tell me. He will be in contempt of court. Now my daught decided she doesn't want to come back at all. Her dad lets her drink and smoke cigs and pot and wants me to pay him child support when he never paid me a penny because he worked undertake table. I am remarried and my husband is in the army and we live in Hawaii. I understand my daughter misses her dad and older siblings and doesn't like having rules. I'm crushed. She now says she's been miserable and hates me. All because I don't let her run wild. My ex brainwashed my older 2 kids also by letting them run amuck with no supervision so I missed both their proms and graduations. I don't know what to do! Her dad owes me for out of pocket medical expenses but has our daughter convinced he doesn't and I should pay him support! Help! Please!

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Kristi - posted on 06/24/2013

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My heart goes out to you. I also recommend an attorney and if available, a guardian ad litum (sp?), an attorney assigned to your daughter. He/She would probably be your only chance at an objective third party look into both homes and living conditions. However, custody battles take forever, at least in NE. Just getting your current order enforced would likely take as long as it might for her to age out. It is unfair and gut-wrenching and I wish I had more encouraging words.

My daughter experienced similar treatment from her "father," although she was younger so nothing like drinking and drugs were involved but the brainwashing and parental alienation was there, along with psychological abuse. By the grace of God and some very disturbing pictures and information coming to light, I was given the opportunity (so to speak) to deprogram her and after 1 year plus in court, he tipped his whole hand and she finally and completely saw him for who he is. Your daughter is older, let's hope she is wiser and figures out who is really best for her, too. Thoughts and prayers!

Ev - posted on 06/23/2013

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Was there no court documents in the first place? I have to agree that at 17 if this goes to court in either state, she will tell the judge what she wants and without proof of what is going on you are not likely to get her to come home. Maybe she needs to see the otherside of the coin so to speak and when she has a problem and goes to dad with it and he does nothing she may realize how good she actually had it.

Jodi - posted on 06/22/2013

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Get a lawyer. But I'll be honest, if she is 17, they are likely to listen to what she wants. Here in Australia, they won't even listen to a case for a child of this age unless there is clear proof of neglect and abuse.

With regard to the child support, if he owes you, even if a court ruled that you needed to pay, wouldn't they reduce it from the amount he owes you first? I know that's how it works here.

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