On-line dating services?

Shannintipton - posted on 07/02/2011 ( 19 moms have responded )

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I know this is a dumb question, but I am going to ask it anyway. I know you are all mothers but before you were you had to start dating...hopefully. Did you ever use a dating service. Can you give me any clue what happens. What they are like. Are the girls hookers? Any responses regarding this matter would be great. Thank you in advance.

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[deleted account]

I have used a dating service years back with good and bad results. As with anything else in life, you must use your head and weed out the good from the bad.

Sneaky - posted on 07/06/2011

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Shannin I don't know what to tell you honey :o( I guess the only advice I have (and this may sound deep and wise, but it is something I am just trying to embrace myself) is to ask what do YOU want? You can not control or change anyone else's behavior, you can only control and change your own. I'm sorry if that sounds unhelpful :o(

Sam - posted on 07/06/2011

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I would be totally worried if my hubby was on an on-line dating site. I was on one and had a lot of fun :) The one I was on did not match you up and it was free. I'm not sure what the girls were really like but a lot of the guys would definately have been up for anything. I am pretty sure that a lot of the girls would have been up for anything. I got a lot of emails from couples wanting to spice things up and even a few from girls who wanted to have some fun. These sites are not for everyone, it just depends what you are up for and probaly what dating site you are on makes a difference. No matter what site my hubby was on I would be worried!

[deleted account]

I met my husband online too. It wasn't one where your profiles are matched though, it was just one where you make your profile and then put in search criterea to find someone else's profile. TBH, my hubby's profile never showed up on any of my searches, but he found mine and the rest is history :)

I met a few people from the site and was in a fairly serious relationship with another guy (before my hubby) that I met on another site one that automatically matches your profile). My biggest problem with that was our profiles matched SO well, that we agreed on every little thing - and it got really boring after a while! lol. We'd try to talk and it would be like "What do you feel about this?" "Oh, I feel like that" "Me too!" End of conversation... Yeah, he was a wonderful guy, but we just hd to much in common! lol

My hubby, on the other hand, is not very much like me at all, but that's what makes our relationship work. We agree on important things (like parenting and relationships - we've both been cheated on), but we disagree on a lot of other things, so our discussions are always lively and often times me me think twice about my opinions (and makes him think twice sometimes too). We would have probably never been matched on sites that do that automatically (like E-Harmony - though one of my best friends just got married to a guy she was matched with on that site - but having a lot in common with a partner was important to her).

In regards to the question "Are the girls hookers?", I couldn't tell you because i never met any of the girls :) But I can tell you that some of the guys ere what I would call male hookers. I went on two dates with guys who were obviously only there to meet up for casual sex. They were doomed to be dissapointed with our dates because that wasn't what I was after though. My hubby says he also met a few women from that site that were just after sex too (he even put on his profile that he was a full time single dad and had 3 women tell him on their first date that if he wnted to be with them he would have to "get rid" of his daughter because they weren't going to be "stuck" raising someone else's child... When they said that he just got up and left...).

I think online dating is a great thing, but you (general you) do have to be careful about it. I followed the general rules of the first date and always met the people in public places and I alwasy made sure that my family and friends knew where I was and whoI was with (I gave my best friend my password to the site and told her that if something happened she could go on there and get the guy's info).

Krista - posted on 07/05/2011

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That DOES happen. Nowadays, they say it's probably a good idea to meet the prospect in person sooner rather than later, so that you can get to know the "real" person, and not the online facade.

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Shannintipton - posted on 07/06/2011

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He is being nice again. I don't think he is getting any nibbles. LMFAO So maybe he will stick around after all. LOL All I can do at this point is LOL all over the place. so LOL

Shannintipton - posted on 07/05/2011

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Well I must say good for you guys. But this isn't helping me at all. LOL My hubby is signed up for an on-line dating service. Now I am getting a little worried. hummmmmm. What to do, what to do.

I do like the part Holly where your hubby told the girls to take a hike if he didn't dump his girls. Oh please. What were they thinking. I am glad it worked out for you. Hope hubby isn't so lucky. LOL

Shannintipton - posted on 07/05/2011

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That is what I am afraid of. I already know what is on this side of the computer and it ain't pretty. So I can imagine. LOL

Tanya - posted on 07/05/2011

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I really would like to try but I have no clue as to where to start or what site to go on as alot of them are fabricated.

JuLeah - posted on 07/05/2011

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I know many who have met on-line. Straight and Gay ... Young and Older .... For many it is a wonderful way to meet ...

And, but .... on-line you really can be anyone. A dog with thumbs could sign up. As you are chatting with Fido, he might not reveal that he is not human ... might lead you to believe he is a two legged.

And, if you get caught up in the excitiment of it all ... meeting someone who says all you want to hear .... you might ignore your gut feelings, might forget about reason or logic .... I have known folks who say such things as "I am in love"

And I respond with "you have been chatting for five days and have never actually met"

"I know, but I am in love. He is perfect!"

I think, "Don't let all them red flags hit cha in the head"

But, do people in such situations EVER listen ... no ... and now I am off topic ... Darn that girl.

Anyway, yes, it works for some

Krista - posted on 07/05/2011

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Like Jodi, I met my husband on a dating site. I was tired of the bar scene, and had had no luck meeting men elsewhere.

I set up my profile, giving some information about what I was like, and what I was looking for. I was contacted by a few men, but nobody really caught my interest. Then one day while online, a fellow sent me a message. He seemed intelligent and friendly. We chatted back and forth for several weeks and then spoke on the phone a few times, finally deciding to meet in person for coffee. And we've been together ever since -- together for almost 10 years, married for almost 4.

Online dating is really no different from regular dating, in the grand scheme of things. There are good people and there are jerks, no matter HOW you meet them.

Ella - posted on 07/05/2011

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yes met my hubby and ex bf on one :) they are perfect you get to find out exactly what you ant in a person and talk to them and read them before you meet them, so you know the relationship will last (if your a good judge of character)

Sneaky - posted on 07/03/2011

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hookers????? lol! (actually I lie - I made a very un-lady like snort!!).

I also met my husband on an online dating service. I set up a profile with a picture of me (a non revealing one!), a warning about my clumsiness and hate of cricket and a few details about age , likes/ dislikes, etc. Paid about $20 I think to 'unlock' my profile, so that anyone who wanted to could email me for free (if a profile was 'locked you had to pay about $3 per email to contact it) and started getting about 100 emails a day!!!!!!!!!!!! No lie, there are a lot of lonely people out there. I made sure that I was always honest with people (and I assumed that people were honest with me) but still took precautions when meeting up in real life (e.g. public place, family and friend know whereabouts and details of person I am meeting, phone call from friend organized mid-date so I had an 'out' if I needed it!). I think I only went out on about five dates before I met my husband - I was very lucky :o)

As to your hooker question - I suppose it is possible that ladies in that line of business could use a dating service to meet men - but if you go to one of these dating sites you would find that a lot of men do not need to pay for sex - there are usually lots of girls with half naked photos and profiles making it clear that they are just interested in sex.

Jodi - posted on 07/02/2011

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I also met my current husband on a dating site, similar to the one Tamara described :). After my divorce, as a single mum, it was actually quite difficult to get out and meet people, because I had no family nearby, and because we had not long moved to the city we were in, I didn't have any close friends either, just acquaintances. So that's why I decided to try an online dating site :) I was a couple of years out of my divorce by that time, and totally ready to move on.



My husband was actually the very first person I met online, and we emailed back and forth for a long time. I did date a few other people in that time, and then finally, hubby and I decided to meet up, and the rest is history!! Been together now for over 9 years, married for 7 1/2.

Tamara - posted on 07/02/2011

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Thanks, I think they can be a really good thing. I have heard some horror stories coming from these types of sites.

Tamara - posted on 07/02/2011

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Well his was a match to mine, the odd thing is we both posted our profiles with in a few minutes of each other lol and they matched :) We emailed and instant messaged for a few days, then we met in person, I made my mom and son go to lunch with us he was ok with it, I figured better to be safe then sorry LOL

They matched likes (like sports, kids, biking, and computer games were a few of ours that matched) and some beliefs (christian, and republican were two that matched with that). The one we used(Udate) isn't there anymore.

I signed up for Match and I did meet a few other guys on there just no one I really clicked with. The questions were pretty much the same on both sites.

Shannintipton - posted on 07/02/2011

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That is how you met dh? Oh ah good for you. Do you match up profiles or do people just pick you out and e-mail and start chatting and bam they get together. Did you date a lot of men from the service before you found dh? Just wondering. Thank you in advance.

Tamara - posted on 07/02/2011

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I used a online dating site to meet DH, but its not really a service more of a database of people.

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