Only child

Michele - posted on 01/08/2014 ( 4 moms have responded )

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I joined today because of the guilt that I have had for at least a year now for having an only child. I have to say that reading all the other comments about this has been very comforting and brings tears to my eyes to see how many others feel the same. My son is 5 and it seemed like many were also with 5 year olds. I also have my age to consider as I'm now 41 and realize that I'm not entirely ok with that and would need to talk with my doctor as well. I know it is still possible but have to remind myself of the risk involved. This still does not change the guilt that I feel when I imagine him older in life without a sibling. Thank you for all of the responses. I will just take comfort in that and pray that I will reach a level of acceptance.

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Kayla - posted on 01/08/2014

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I just wanted to tell you my opinion from the other side of it. I grew up with 3 siblings, and 2 step siblings. And although it was fun, it was also hard because our parents didn't have the time to give each one of us one on one time. I remember especially as a teenager, I needed that, but they just didn't have the time. They were and are great parents, but with 6 kids, it got pretty busy for them. And we only had 1 bathroom in the house, which SUCKED haha

Don't feel guilty about only having one child. Like you said, he is a blessing, and now you have all the time in the world to spend with your little guy. And when he is growing up, you will never miss anything!

Desiree - posted on 01/08/2014

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You are very welcome.

Whether you do or don't have anymore, shower your little man with all the love and affection possible. I have 3 of my own and 3 step-children and while I can't have anymore (had my tubes tied 4 months ago after having the baby), it make me sad to think that our baby is our last and that makes me want another one even more. There will always be "what if's".

I think your son will be just fine with or without a sibling. Just think, he gets all your love and affection without having to share it.

Desiree - posted on 01/08/2014

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I am not an only child but my best friend who I have known all my life (I am 32) is an only child. She actually likes it this way. She is a well rounded person, respectible, and has a very very close relationship with her parents. She doesn't feel that she has missed out on anything by not having siblings.

Just wanted to let you know that just because he is an only child does not mean he will grow up resenting you or that he is missing out on anything.

By all means, if you and your doctor feel that having another child is safe and what you want to do, go for it!!! But don't let the guilt (there really is nothing to feel guilty about) of not giving your child a brother or sister bring you down.

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Michele - posted on 01/08/2014

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Thank you Desiree. I appreciate your response. Chances are that we won't have another and geeze, we even had talked about being ok with none before marriage. Obviously things did change and we absolutely adore and have the sweetest 5 year old boy and feel so blessed. Its the later in life, feeling selfish at times feeling...but I'm hoping that this will just come and go...and focus my energies on all the positive blessings that we do have. :)

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