Heather - posted on 10/24/2011 ( 5 moms have responded )
My 11 year old daughter and I live a little over an hour from her Dad. She is suppose to visit him every other weekend. Currently she is refusing to go. The last visit was awful and she called crying many times asking to come home.
We have been divorced almost 3 years and do not have a good relationship ourselves. He is extremely bitter and constantly blames me for the divorce and puts me down in front of her. He saves his chores for the weekends she is there, makes promises to do fun things, but never seems to do them. He also is on her about her weight, allows her only to drink water and forces her to take 5 mile bike rides each day she is with him.
Additionally, He lives in NY and has a girlfriend in Florida. They see and talk to each other MUCH more than he sees or even talks to our daughter. The GF was his college GF. She has never married, has no children, but teaches school so she thinks she knows it all. Well, I taught school too and have children and here I am asking questions!
She has tried talking to her Dad, but he is one of those over-talkers who will not listen. When she gets upset he says I have sabotaged the weekend. Believe me, there is nothing I'd like better than for them to get along. I keep pushing her visits because I do not want their relationship to disappear. I've told both of them that and have emphasized that it is very hard to re-start a relationship after it has crumbled. It hurts me to see he is treating her much like he treated me. She sees that and I think is wondering if I left him why can't she... HELP! Any suggestions?