Kristen - posted on 08/12/2012 ( 4 moms have responded )
I am posting from my wife's account. Hopefully the circle of moms is okay with the occasional question from a father...
We are the happy parents of three with one more on the way, due in early October. Our first two girls were easy as infants and toddlers. Our third child is a boy, and I'm sure that is part of the issue... He is high energy, like many young boys, and when he is mellow, he is great. He smiles a lot and giggles endlessly. But he has another side of him that is destructive, mean, and angry. I realize that all kids are going to have their moments, but with him, its multiple major intentional messes, broken things, and physical violence every day. I expect a child to impulsively throw a full cup of milk occasionally when they are upset, but it has been at least once a day for a week now, sometimes twice. He grabs anything and everything that is off limits, he will not stay off the counters, out of the fridge, or out of the bathrooms. He can defeat the "child locks" on the doorknobs in a few seconds, he intentionally hits and beats on things he knows are breakable or fragile, he bites, kicks, hits, and throws things at his sisters, the cats, and especially me. I don't know how many of you remember the old show from 20 odd years ago with the family of dinosaurs, where the baby likes to hurt the father and yells "not the mommy", but that is how he acts towards me. We have tried many different ways of handling this, from positive reinforcement, time outs (20 times in a row and he just thinks its funny), taking things away, separating him from everyone else, and the way I was disciplined, yelling... Nothing even phases him. He just doesn't care. When he is doing something wrong, and we try to talk to him or get his attention, he just ignores you. If you go to him to physically remove him from the situation, he throws himself around, goes "limp" (flops on the floor), or tries to run away. This has been going on since he was about 14 months old, but crescendoed at about 19 months. He is 26 months old now. I am at my wits end, with the other stresses we are currently dealing with (I'm out of work, my wife is 8 months pregnant, and we're being forced to move, the house we rent is being sold out from under us), Im about to lose it! What can we do to get control of our son? I am at a loss.