our family members

Kaddie - posted on 03/21/2011 ( 9 moms have responded )




My husband and I have been knowing each other for 13 years. Our parents never really liked each other. They tried to keep us apart and tried to get us to hate each other, but though our parents was always argueing and fighting we became friends and stayed friends. There was times when they kept us apart, but it would never last. So they would try diffrent things to keep us apart. His parents eventually split, he stayed with his dad. His dad still tryed to keep us apart. We had always talked and flirted behind everyones back. Then after nine years of knowing each other and hiding our feelings we deside to not care what our parents thought and start dateing. His dad tried to brake us up, so did his mom. His dad even tried to move away, but my husband said that he would of took me with him if that happened. So his dad gave up on that nothion. His mom even tried to huck him up with two diffrent girls. Once when we was just dating and once after we was married. His dad actually called me a b**** because my husband married me and he moved out. He even said that sence I was married to my husband that I would have to cook and clean for him. Thats when my husband blue up and stud up to his dad for the first time. After that they never really talked again. My husband says its because his dad doesnt ever have any thing good to say bout me so he isnt going to sit there and listen to him talk bout me. He says the same thing bout his mom. He has 4 sisters and 1 brother. The only ones that was really behind us and our relationship is his brother and his second to youngest sister. The rest just doesnt want us together. Now that we have our daughter we really dont want them in her life. They are already spreading rumors that she isnt his. His dad still hasnt saw her. His mom and second to oldest sister had a chance to see her when we had went to his grandma's. His mom or sister never looked at her once. We have desided that sence they dont want to be in her life now that we arent going to let them when she gets older. I know she may hate us in the future but we just dont want them to tell her stuff like that my husband really isnt her dad or that they dont like me or my husband. I know that my parents dont like my husband my mom told me to my face that she didnt like him. I just dont want my daughter growing up with family that resent her.


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Bonnie - posted on 03/22/2011




At the end of the day, the only family that really matters at this point for your daughter is her mom and dad. You do what you got to do. Don't feel bad for trying to keep her safe and happy.

[deleted account]

You can't pick your relatives, but you CAN pick your family. These toxic people you are talking about are not family and I would keep them as far away from me and MY family as humanly possible.

Kaddie - posted on 03/22/2011




Yea I have a best friend that I made her nanny. We have been friends sence the 3rd grade. Our family is something alike. Her real mom gave her up when she was born. She is like a sister to me.

Jennifer - posted on 03/22/2011




I think you are doing the right thing by keeping them away from your daughter. We as parents have to make incredibly tough decisions, and part of that is removing people that could cause mental anguish. Just being blood related doesn't give them the right to be a part of her life. I'm sure there are other's in you life, like friends or parents of friends that would love to "adopt" your child as their grandchild or niece.

Noelia - posted on 03/22/2011




if I was you I muve as far as posible, you have your family now you, your husband and your girl. the rest are just relatives not family. good look and best wishes

Tcordukes - posted on 03/22/2011




I wouldn't let them around her either if they can't respect there own son enough, at the end of the day they are the ones that are missing out on knowing what a gorgous and precious grandchild/neice they have. If she ever asks when she gets older then u can explain as much is appropriate for her age and she can decide if che wants to know them, in the end she will see for herself. Her welfare and happiness as a child needs to come first, it's their lose not yours or hers.

Louise - posted on 03/22/2011




You really have fought to keep this relationship going havent you. I think you are doing the right thing by keeping the family away because your daughter will notice the tension and think that it is her that every body is against. You are married now with a beautiful daughter that is your family. As for the others your better off without them. My family is a bit disfunctional too so my best friend is my daughters Auntie and we have made our own happy family. You don't need to be around this negativity. Live a happy life without them. There loss.

Cheryl - posted on 03/21/2011




Wow I am so sorry you have such a tough situation with family.. that if very hard! I would suggest you go to a church where you feel comfortable with the people and begin to make new friends and relationships that are positive and with people that accept you for who you are both you and your husband and begin to build a new "family" a spiritual family that will be healthy for yours and not toxic.. so sorry that your natural family has treated you so badly.. we had a wonderful spiritual family that filled in a lot for our natural one because we lived to far from both of ours, God bless you and be with you, you really aren't obligated to put up with all the meanness and hatred your families are showing you it is not good for you or your husband or your child..get on with your life and with new healthy friends.. they don't sound like they are worth it!! Or you could try one last time and say, if you don't change the way you talk about me, my child my husband etc. then I will take it that you don't really want a relationship with us and I will respect your wishes and you won't see me again.. you might have to get that direct!! Stand up for yourselves and demand their respect or you are out of there! You have put up with this far longer than I would have!!

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