Jolene - posted on 08/15/2016 ( 1 mom has responded )
I have read that there are MANY other parents struggling with this same issue. And my heart aches for all of you.
I am not a single mother, and his father has always been actively involved in his life. Until my son turned 16 he was a pretty good kid. Very smart but very lazy. He would do his chores to the least of his abilities and wizzed through homework with very little effort- and managed to keep all A's and B's until he hit 17. Then it's like he "went dark". Became defiant, started sneaking out at night, not doing homework. By the time he was half way through senior year he had gotten to the point where his younger sister was afraid of him. He had never hit her, but would threaten and intimidate her- so our home was no longer a safe place for her (they are 4 years apart). He made the mistake of "bowing up" to me and his father was there to see it- so he was kicked out. We had never found drugs in his room, but it was text book behavior. He wouldn't go to rehab, seek counseling. After living with friends and couch surfing for two years- but claiming he was homeless, we let him move back in. At first it was OK, but quickly he stopped doing chores, still no job and then I found drugs in his room. So again kicked out.
Then the injustice of it all had him breaking into the house and wrecking his Dad's things. Taking his Jeep out and wrecking the rims, paint balling the cars etc. We got an alarm system with cameras on our house for OUR SON. After about a year of that and what I found out was meth use along with everything and anything else he got in trouble and sent to jail. His grandparents offered him a place to stay out of state with specific rules, rehab and mental health evaluations and drug testing. Plus, he had to work. Well, he has once again burned that bridge and after 2 months found himself homeless and out of state. Knowing that he had no one else to turn to I told him to see a recruiter and join the military. Problem is my youngest sister in law bought him a bus ticket back home. Now he will have plenty of resources to go back to his old ways. I am just so bereft and sad- because tough love or not- it hurts and it SUCKS to not only not be proud of your child- but to actually dread who they are becoming and be powerless to stop it. Guess I just needed to vent more than anything. Thanks for listening.