Out of state Dads

Jessica - posted on 07/02/2015 ( 8 moms have responded )

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Hi ladies, I need help on something, my sons dad is in Georgia, I'm located in Maryland. Its about a 12 hour drive one way to the other. We have not been together for about 2 years, have successfully moved on from each other. He hasn't seen Colton (my son) a year come August, he tells me he cant afford it because of the money, child support for Colton and his other daughter now and bills. blah blah blah, We all have bills and we all have hard times, I have never kept Colton from him, if he wants to come to Maryland I am more than happy to work around my schedule so he can see him. I work 3 jobs and being a single mom on top of this, I cant just go down there at the drop of a hat, plus he's not going to help me go down there financially. So I guess my question is, What do I do? Do I go, or do I continue to push for him to come to Colton? I don't want Colton to hate me for this decision... this has really been weighing on my mind a lot, and I just don't know what to do any more. Please help

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Personally, I think you should continue pushing for your ex-to come to your son if there is no court order establishing visitation. It's great that your willing to work with him in seeing his son but you have to remember you can not make someone take responsibility for there own actions. You can not pick up the slack for his short comings.
I completely understand where your coming from being frustrated that he makes excuses. I have that problem with my ex too just in an extremely different circumstances. In my opinion if he really wanted to be more involved he'd make it happen especially if your more then willing to work with him.

Dove - posted on 07/02/2015

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In that case... I would 'guess' that a judge would make transportation costs 50/50... father pays to fly the kid to him... you pay to fly the kid home... or you BOTH drive 6 hours both times and meet in the middle... or.... well, you get the idea.

Dove - posted on 07/02/2015

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Who moved? Sometimes a judge will order that whoever moved has to fund the transportation completely... sometimes it will be split 50/50 no matter who moved. You need a court order involving some sort of visitation schedule and you should be prepared to provide for half the transportation costs and prepared to not see your son for a month (or more) at a time. That's just the way life is when two people who live far away from each other share a child.

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Jodi - posted on 07/02/2015

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Yep, I'd say 50/50. It's not like he doesn't pay child support. If he wasn't paying, I'd be reluctant to assist with the visits too, but clearly he is trying to be involved in his child's life, financial hardship is probably genuine.

Jessica - posted on 07/02/2015

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My son was conceived in Maryland, we moved to Georgia, I went to visit my dad in Utah for a month, because we kept fighting about money at the time, I was 6 months pregnant. He was supposed to buy my plane ticket back to Georgia and he just didn't do it, he left me in Utah, Where I had my son. I moved back to Maryland in November. He is still in Georgia.

Jodi - posted on 07/02/2015

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I was going to ask who is the one that moved too. If it was you, then you kind of owe it to him to find a way to assist with the visits.

Arrdieu - posted on 07/02/2015

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Do your best to support your child,if his father is willing to see him dont stop him, if hes not, do not push.Do the best you can as a mom will do for his or her child.dont forget to keep pictures for memories . In future.

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