Out of state visitation

Jamy - posted on 04/20/2014 ( 3 moms have responded )

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I am trying to move out of state and move back home for family support. My son is 15 months old. right now he sees his father and other family 3 nights a weeks, and this has been too much for him. He is a mess when he comes home and will not leave my side ever. But We are going to try and sit down and work out a schedule for long distance. Now we are going back to where we are both from so all of both extended families are out there and he visits quite often. What is a good schedule for my baby?

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Jodi - posted on 04/20/2014

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Whether you were together or not is irrelevant. That doesn't make him any less biologically related to his child.

If you have been through courts, etc, what do the court orders say? Because to be quite honest, you could up and move and he could claim custody unless you arrange new court orders. And you wouldn't know what hit you until you actually moved. He could have the child brought back to him and gain custody.

You also have to consider the 10 hour drive or plane ride. Who is going to do that? You? What is the cost of that going to be. As you are the one making the decision to move, can you afford that?

I don't think visiting a parent every 5-6 weeks is enough, but with distance, you're not offering him a whole lot of choice. Chances are he won't be happy with it. He might be looking for at least once a month. However, you also have to think about what is going to happen once your child becomes school age.

Jamy - posted on 04/20/2014

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The move back home is an hour plane ride or 10 hour drive. We were nevr together, we were friends and heis married with a family. He doesn't want me to move because he wants to see his only son but we do not have a job or place to live here so we need to move. I wasthinking of 5 nights at his dads every 5-6 weeks. Just until he get a little bigger and can stay away from me for longer periods. There is a Protection order on him at the moment , but we are going to try and figure this out between us because we are both out over 10 thousand in courts and laywers, and my baby is only 15 months old. Also He can visit anytime he is in our town. he is out there visiting his family a lot. What do you think is ok for a 15 month old? I have another son that is his bestfriend too..

Jodi - posted on 04/20/2014

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It depends. How far away is it? Is your ex ok with your move? And does he have an idea on what he wants at this point? Has he suggested something that he'd be happy with?

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