Overwhelmed, need some advice/support

Ronda - posted on 01/08/2013 ( 3 moms have responded )

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My baby boy is 3 weeks old and I'm just starting to feel better from c-sec. I hardly get any rest, haven't really been out the house ( since I was on bed rest in hospital before delivery for almost a month) is it normal to just feel like you just need to get away for a while? I feel like I'm being unfair to the baby. I'm 24 and I'm married, I just graduated college last year and I'm a first time mom.

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♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 01/08/2013

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I giggled at Jessica's response, and yes, she's right...at 3 weeks, I was just thrilled to have an hour to myself to shower!

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 01/08/2013

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Ronda, we call it a "me" day. Yes, it's totally normal.

You feel like you're at the end of your rope. You haven't been out of the house/hospital in months (and it seems like years, right?). You're not getting enough rest, your husband is probably getting on your nerves a bit as well, and to top it off, you have this little wriggling bundle of joy, but it's also a bundle of anxiety about your parenting...

BEEN THERE!

You are NOT being unfair to baby, nor to your hubby. Sit down with him, tell him how you're feeling, and that you need a "me day" (or even a "me 3 hours"). Work out when that will be best to do, and do it. Don't feel bad about leaving your new wee one and your hubby alone together, because they need that time too. Go play bingo, or some light walking/shopping, get your hair cut, or have a manicure. If you live in a temperate area (it's only in the mid 20's F here right now, so not very warm), enjoy some time in the sun. Have a girls night out with your friends.

I was your age, in your shoes with my firstborn, and I had a terrible time getting over the guilty feelings for leaving my boy even for an hour...until I actually got out of the house, and had a good time.

Now, remember too, that you and hubby will also need some couple time. At first, it's easier, because baby will sleep a lot, but remember to stay connected with him too!!!

Jessica - posted on 01/08/2013

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Yes this is totally normal! You have to take care of yourself in order to be the best mom to your baby boy. As a 1st time mom myself, I completely understand the guilt about feeling like you want some "me" time. I spoke with a lot of my girlfriends about this who have kids and they all assured me they felt it to. My suggestion is to grab a babysitter, or have your husband watch the baby for an hour or so and go get a pedicure or something. Honestly, 3-4 weeks after having a baby I was so excited to have an hour to myself and I just took a bath and then took a nap. Hang in there!!

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