Mommabird - posted on 03/07/2015 ( 1 mom has responded )
Basics: im 43 and married twice to my current husband of 5 yrs altogether. Together we have 6 children. Ages 24,23,10,4 and 17 mth old twins. The twins are My step children. They were conceived during our 9 mth divorce period...so yes I willingly reconciled our marriage knowing about the twins. I made the choice to love them as my own when he started getting visitation. It went well for the first year until I started having health issues which resulted in physical pain 24/7 and stress/anxiety. Other issues arose in the mix..which I posted about...but I stupidly hid my health from people and didn't talk about it. Except with my husband. Im currently seeking help for my health issues but its not an easy fix kind of thing. I've gotten to a point where Im not liking who I've become. My health makes it almost impossible to consistently care for little ones physically or patiently. Im at a point in this situation where I don't know what I should do.
Here's my issue. The schedule changed with the twins several mths ago and we have them wed through mon every other week. Unfortunately my husband(their dad) isn't off work that weekend anymore..Hes off the opposite weekends now. She wouldn't switch the weekends so out of the 5 whole days theyre here he only has 2 days off to spend with them. On work days he sees them for 2 hours and most of the time theyre asleep then. Basically they spend about 75% of the time with me and have gotten attached so much they don't even acknowledge hes here. I thought that was the whole point to them being here more than the normal every other weekend. I love them like my own but its becoming overwhelming for me. Physically and mentally. Would it be selfish of me to request them go back to the original schedule and only get them on his days off? We would have them 2 full days a week..instead of 5 full days in a row twice a month. Of course the weekend thing is the biggest issue...the weekend she wants him to keep he works 12 her shifts. She wont switch because her 5 yrs old goes to his dads that weekend and she "needs that alone time to collect her sanity". She's 26 yrs old and lives with her parents! Her sanity? She NEVER has the kids by herself..her parents are retired and there 24/7 to help her. Im the only one taking on twins plus 2 more by myself! What about MY sanity? So am I wrong to request a more accommodating schedule for Me?