Pagan Mommy to be!!! HELP!!!

Elizabeth - posted on 02/22/2013 ( 3 moms have responded )

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My husband and I are having our first baby together. Just found out and very excited. Yay!!! Problem? Well, I'm Native American and grew up with old ways and very pagan. My hubby is very supporting and says to run with the wind in regards to raising our baby pagan until they are old enough to choose for themselves. His family on the other hand is very Christian. His father doesn't mind but he told me to hide it from my husband's mother. WHAT?!? I really feel drawn to wearing peridot and malachite pentacles to soothe the baby and I. I also plan on having pagan baby blankets, clothes and etc. I like his mom and wont her to be apart of this. Also I know I'll have to put my foot down in regards to how we raise our children. Any advice would be splendid dear sisters!
Goddess' love and blessings!!! ♥

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Elizabeth - posted on 03/08/2013

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I also hate being around people like that. I'm related to a few myself and it's very hard for me to keep my mouth shut. le sigh

Elizabeth - posted on 03/08/2013

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Thank you! We talked to our counselor and she suggested we just do it and it forces her to ask questions.

Liz - posted on 02/22/2013

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It sounds as if you'll be dealing with very similar issues to those experienced by mixed-faith marriages, no matter what the faiths themselves happen to be!

The main thing is that you and your husband are on the same page as each other and that you can discuss your responses to any trickiness from his side of the family. If he's already supportive of your plans for raising your baby, then that's a great start.

I don't believe in hiding a religion from anyone and I wouldn't advise you to start down that road - it sounds as if you don't want to in any case, which I'd agree with. That said, there is a fine line to walk if you know in advance that being overly open with it might cause some relationship disharmony with your husband's mother. Talk with your husband to see if he thinks she might be more understanding if she can sit with you both and chat about what your spiritual path means, rather than misunderstanding as some Christian folks are wont to do and assuming that this all basically means that you're diabolists. If she truly does have any attitude regarding your spiritual choices, it most likely stems from ignorance. Only you and your husband will be able to tell if she will be open to education or whether she would consider even that to be an affront to her own faith.

Incidentally, I'm speaking from the point of view of someone who is enrolled in the Order of Bards, Ovates and Druids and whose husband's family are very Christian, sing in the church choir and teach in Sunday school, so I know where you're coming from!

I don't hide my religion, but I don't reference it openly in front of the Christian members of the family either. I HAVE fallen out with one of my father in law's brothers, perhaps the most fanatically devoted to Christianity of the whole family, because he was posting things on his Facebook about gay people being the same as pedophiles and people who indulge in bestiality (he said it in far more graphic and insulting a manner but I won't repeat that here as, apart from anything else, it is only mildly germane to your post) and I wouldn't let that go without comment.

I would pick your battles. Work out with your husband what will be the most important sticking grounds. If she's likely to want your child baptised, what will your response be? If she talks about taking the child to church or Sunday school, how will you react? If you have definite ideas about the various ways in which you wish your child to be introduced to your own path, whether that is at menarche if she's a girl, or seeing mama's shrine, or listening to stories etc, then talk that over with your husband as well. If he's 100% unsurprised and supportive, you'll be able to weather just about anything with his family.

I wish you all the best. Love and blessings.

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