Parental Alienation and Stepmoms

Jane - posted on 04/10/2014 ( 1 mom has responded )

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Is it ever appropriate for stepmoms to have a conversation with their stepkids who have become alienated because of their mom's influence? I have no intentions of denegrating their mother - I know whatever I say will be shared with her; I understand and respect that. But my husband flees from conflict and confrontation, and his ex-wife has prevented him from having face to face communication with his teenage son, who is parroting all of her woes and adult issues that should have been addressed between his parents, not thrown on his shoulders as a burden. She loves the limelight, to be the center of attention and cared for and pitied, and has used her children to get what she needs, at the expense of their relationship with their dad. I entered the picture when they were jr high/teenagers and have a good relationship with them. Can I simply let them know how much their dad loves and misses them, that I do too, and encourage them to visit with him and get his side of things in person, rather than conducting an inquisition via email where mom can edit and offer suggestions and include her opinions in the conversation? Or should I remain silent and support my husband?

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♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 04/10/2014

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Unless you have regular unsupervised conversations with the kid that you could casually bring up something like: "I enjoy when we spend time together, and I know your dad really looks forward to spending time with you as well", then you'd be overstepping boundaries to mention it.

If your husband doesn't want to stand up to his ex, you need to either encourage him to be more assertive, or simply not interfere.

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