Marcia - posted on 12/27/2013 ( 3 moms have responded )
My almost 13-year old son wants to live with his father's family. While I can see many advantages to the move, I have a mammoth concern that his father is waging an alienation campaign against me and his ultimate plan is to erase me from my son's life. His father has been married to his current wife for 10 years. They have her child from an earlier marriage as well as their two biological children. My household is just myself and my son. I am a working mother.
His father and I live in different states, and the distance between our homes in about 2.5 hours. We are currently co-parenting without a firm visitation schedule. I want my son to have a good relationship with his father, and I support frequent visitation to his dad's home.
I was willing to have him move to his father's home until I learned about the potential of purposeful alienation against me. I started therapy because of my son's hatred toward me and with the plan of us attending sessions together. After my therapist had a session alone with my son, the therapist suspected alientation by his father. My son will start therapy in January with his own person. I must postpone any change in physical custody until I get a determination that there is or is not alienation at work.
My largest challenge is my non-existant relationship with my son. He wants nothing at all to do with me. I am the enemy. He won't even sit down and have a meal with me at the table (but he will visit with me at a restaurant). I can't touch him - no hugs. I realize that about half of his behavior is normal early teen pushback against his mom. I also understand that this would be a good time for him to live with his father because of the common interests between a dad and a son.
I see the long term problems with my son eventually losing complete contact with me due to his father's actions. While I am making my son's life very difficult right now because he is very angry at me for not letting him move, I don't want my son to lose both of his parents in the long run.
Any experience out there with alienation by the non-custodial parent?