Parental Alienation Syndrome

Dale Ann - posted on 07/05/2014 ( 7 moms have responded )

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After looking at various posts on this site, I have found some comfort in knowing that there are other mothers out there whose children have either been influenced by the wealth of the father after divorce or have been poisoned by the ex. Its still hard to believe that children could turn against their mother, but apparently, it is almost an epidemic. So sad. I did the best I could and thought my ex was joking when he told me he was going to trade me in on a younger model. Adultery, hiding assets and yet they have turned against me and readily take expensive vacations with dad.... So sad....

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♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 07/07/2014

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Dale, whether you like it or not, you are on an international forum that is open for all to respond on.

Evelyn was not attacking you, she was pointing out that while your situation is not a great one, it is equally shared by both genders, it's not just the father that tries to turn the kid against mom, but moms also trying to turn their kids against dad.

She did not say that YOU personally did this, only that the situation happens more often than you had stated, and that, in fact, it does not just happen to non custodial mothers, but to ANY non custodial parent.

Another thing I'd like to point out, again, is that this is an open, international forum. This is not FB where you can dictate who does or does not respond to a post. Evelyn felt that you did not understand her, thus posted an explanation of her original response.

The reality of the situation is that it is NOT right for one parent to attempt to push the other out, either by means of wealth, or by withholding visits from the other parent. HOWEVER, since this is not a perfect world, it happens more often than we'd like.

You also must have missed the part where she sympathized with you and outlined her own situation...

Ev - posted on 07/05/2014

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I was not attacking you but giving an opinion like it or not. Its not about you personally. There are a lot of people internationally who use this forum. And not every answer you will like. I am sorry you felt that way and I said in my last post that I was not saying that to say anything about you personally.

Dale Ann - posted on 07/05/2014

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Dear E,
Why would you respond to me out in cyberspace when I was obviously offended and felt attacked, especially when I specifically asked you not to? Aren't there others out there for you to comment on?

Ev - posted on 07/05/2014

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Dale,

Joining the site meant that you were going to hear lots of things from a lot of people around the world. And this includes those things you may not like. I was expressing an opinion. We are all entitled to our opinions. My ex husband did everything in his power to get the kids from me. Mostly, he did not want to pay child support. He was not wealthy by any means and I had thus far to the point of divorce raised the kids that material things did not mean love or equal love. He had back up support and resources I did not have so when it came to the final decision and an offer of joint custody with him as primary parent, I decided to go with that for the sake of my children. They were 12 and 5 at the time. But I was terrified that he would do what he could to turn them against me. But I learned how wrong that idea was a few years later. Today, I can happily say that my kids and I are still as close as we were from the day they were both born. I am sorry your kids turned against you but I do not know what all happened to make that happen. I do know that a lot of women that I have read stories of on here take it on themselves to determine that the father is not good enough to see his kid/kids for whatever reason no matter if a court order is in place or not. It is not right or fair to either parent to have the other keep the kids away or teach the kids the opposite parent is bad. Its wrong. But its not just moms who get this done to them, good men who are good dads have it happen to them too. It does not matter what the one parent used to poison or brain wash the kids with to get them to turn against the other parent, its that it is done and both men and women suffer for it.

As for the typo....I have a new keyboard I am trying to get used to and fingers slipped on wrong keys.

Dale Ann - posted on 07/05/2014

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Thanks Evelyn,
You made me feel so much better. LOL...Actually the point I was making was that most people typically think it is the mother turning the children against the father and actually it happens more than people think the other way because mothers are so humiliated and embarrassed to talk about it. I guess I am confused. I thought that this site was supposed to be supportive and not meant to tear mothers down. Do me a favor and don't respond.
D

Ev - posted on 07/05/2014

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While I agree this thing does happen, its not just about the dad or mother's wealth or the parents telling the kids all sorts of bad things about the other parent--its the whole idea of parental alienation. Its not fair to the kids or the other parent when the dad or mom makes it hard for the relationship to happen. I do not agree that its always the kids going against the mother though. It happens to the father too. Why is it always the mother that is made the victumn in this? Dads get it as much as mothers do. Stop making it all about the mom. Dads have as much rights to the kids as the mothers do as long as the dad is not a danger to the kid. Goes the same for mothers.

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