Part time dad

Angelique - posted on 03/02/2013 ( 7 moms have responded )

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my daughter is 3 and he just really started being partiall involved in my daughter life. anywaythings where startingg to get better till I found out my daughter is his hidden child. Nobody knows about my child not even his current babymama. my daughter beable to attend her brother parties and he cant come to hers accordingto her dad. am I wrong for pulling my child out?

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Jodi - posted on 03/03/2013

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Well, she only added that as an after thought. So how often can that really be happening if she claims "things were starting to get better" and that the MAJOR issue is about the father not publicly acknowledging his child?

I strongly suspect the OP isn't being entirely honest. After all, the story has already changed once..... so my opinion is based on her original OP. I always love how people decide to bring in all this other shit to back up their actions when people disagree with them....which makes me inclined to think they'll say anything to have their actions agreed with.

Kristi - posted on 03/03/2013

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I disagree with you on this one, Jodi. If the only time he is willing to see his daughter is 11pm and in a car, I call bullshit. It is not healthy for a little girl to have a pop in dad who keeps her a secret. At this age it is confusing and creates instability. As she gets older, providing he even sticks around, it'll do a number on her self esteem.

If he wants to be part of her life, it his responsibility to call, to set up visitation at a reasonable time, in a normal location and to show up when he says he's going to. Angelique should not have to hunt him down so he'll visit his daughter in a car late at night as if he is having a secret affair and she is his late night booty call. Just a comparison in the way he's behaving, not implying he's a pedophile. Let him take her to court, his daughter won't be a secret anymore and he will be given a real parenting schedule, along with his financial obligation to help support his daughter, too.

Just my opinion...

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Jodi - posted on 03/02/2013

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You can argue your point all you like, your daughter has the right to get to know her dad, NOW. And if he decides to take you to court because you stop all visitation, then the court will say the same thing - that he has a right to get to know his daughter, and vice versa..

Angelique - posted on 03/02/2013

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true but if not makung the effort to get and know her why cant I allow her to get and know him when sh ready?

Jodi - posted on 03/02/2013

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She has a right to get to know her father.

As I said, you can continue to encourage him to acknowledge her publicly, and chances are at some stage he will, but you shouldn't use it as an excuse to deny him visitation.

Maybe let him know that she also has a right to get to know her brother and grandparents, give him something to think about.

Angelique - posted on 03/02/2013

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How am I punishing her? He makes time for her here and there and usually this "time" is
11 pm. And we sit in my car. My whole thingis not geting my daughter hurt in the situation. I cant force him to be her dad and honestly thats what im doing now trying to let him be involved but I put all the effortbin. he doesnt see her unless I call him and ask if she can see him. he never callsher or watch her. And if he denying her to family and friends he not ready to be her father. according tohim she won't know her brother! so y should I put my kid in a positionto be the victim?

Jodi - posted on 03/02/2013

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Yes, you're wrong. Instead, what you should be doing is encouraging him to acknowledge her publicly, but you can;t force him. But punishing her by not allowing her to get to know her dad is wrong.

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