Pastor yelling at me for being offended at not being invited places

Crystal - posted on 06/03/2016 ( 8 moms have responded )

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I am so upset, I feel like my friend and pastor dislike me and want me to stay away from them because my friend said she needed space and was yelling at me for feeling excluded bc Im not invited places and thinking Im being rejected when that is supposedly not true.
My pastor messaged me telling me I need to stop being offended when I don't get invited to things after he overheard me asking someone at church about a get together they had. And he said if I wanted to stay part of the group I need to stop asking people questions about their events that Im not invited to because it makes it look like Im upset that I wasn't invited. Ok I understand that but why is he making me out to be this horrible bad person and threatening to kick me out for simply asking what someone did when for clarification when I overhear them talking about a get together.

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Molly - posted on 06/03/2016

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crystal, i go to church to build my relationship with God and through that growing faith i am able to love my spouse through His intention-- i also find myself brought closer to God by leading a teen small group-- what are you gaining spiritually at your church and at your small group if you continue to focus on missed invitations or lack of social opportunities? community is important, but not as important as your relationship with Christ--maybe it is time to be still, focus on what Scripture can teach you. i know when i slow down and really listen to God, my life only improves. i have had times of doubt, we all have had times of insecurity and fear- turning to the right source of comfort (although it may not feel right at the time) will lead you back to happiness.

Michelle - posted on 06/03/2016

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Seriously, we have been telling you the same thing.
I agree with your pastor, get over it and find some new friends if you don't like what this group is doing.
Grow up and get on with it.

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Sarah - posted on 06/03/2016

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I am pretty sure these are both your posts since they both start with:
I am so upset, this friend from church....
Sarah/Crystal, what is it that you need so badly from these people at church? I am not telling you to grow up, or mind your business I want to see if the women here can help you. You sound quite young and while others are getting married, moving and joining the military you are not ready for those steps? Your pastor did not become a pastor by being a selfish, unkind man so I don't think is telling you that you are horrible, nor is he likely to be threatening to truly excommunicate you from the church.
A young lady with confidence is not going to mind if there a few gatherings for which she does not make the list. Maybe it was couples, maybe they wanted to drink and you are too young, who knows.

Sarah - posted on 06/03/2016

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When there are all church gatherings that are open to the congregation, no doubt there will be notice or an announcement made at service. You state I " simply asking what someone did when for clarification when I overhear them talking about a get together."
You were eavesdropping, and then jumped in to ask about the gathering? If you were invited, you'd know.

Tara - posted on 06/03/2016

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First of all no Pastor has the right to throw any body out of the Church. And if you really feel that your Pastor has something against you. I would pray about first. Cause God is is every where and God is in our hearts not in the church. So you don't have to prove yourself to your pastor . Because your relationship is not with the pastor it should be about building one with God. I would say keep praying about and visit other churches and find different friends. Good luck.

Crystal - posted on 06/03/2016

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I was asking when it was if it was after church on Sunday because I wanted to know why I didnt know about it

Sarah - posted on 06/03/2016

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There are two women posting nearly identical topics. Sarah P and Crystal H. are you the same person? You have the exact same issues of friends excluding you and you pastor being involved in the drama.
Crystal your pastor is trying to help you act like a grown up. If you are not invited, you aren't, there is nothing you can do about it and to prod and try to figure out why or why not is making the other uncomfortable. You gotta love yourself first before the others will love you too.
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