Chrissie - posted on 05/18/2016 ( 2 moms have responded )
Why do my girls ask me if they can live with their grandmother every time they get mad at me? My girls’ father (call him Joe) has never been in the picture in a good way but Joe’s mother (call her Jane) has always been good to them. Jane has always got the kids every other weekend instead of the girls’ father because he had better things to do. I wanted my girls to have all the love that comes from a grandparent so I thought I was doing the right thing by letting Jane get them on those weekends. Come to find out Jane doesn’t have my back when it comes to me raising my kids. She is belittling me and my parenting to my kids in small ways that are now adding up. Every time my girls get mad at me they tell me they want to live with Jane and she won’t say something like, “No girls you can’t live with me your mother would be sad and miss you but you can visit me anytime you want” instead Jane tells them, “Sure you could live with me we would have such fun but your mom would never let you live here”.
What do I do???? If I stop letting them go to Jane’s house as much they will hate me if I let them continue going but not move in with her they will hate me! Heck, every weekend Jane calls me while the girls are with her wanting me to discipline one or both of them because they did something disrespectful to her....OMG isn’t she the adult, shouldn’t she be the one dealing out punishment since they are with her??? Now I am the bad guy because I punish them for acting out at home or I take their electronics away because of bad grades, all they see when they are with her is that no matter what they do there are no chastisements or consequences. I will NOT allow my kids to live with Jane!! I feel betrayed by both my kids and Jane. I have always included Jane in everything I do with/for my girls and I have never kept them from her. I have raised my girls to the best of my ability in good times and bad, through arguments and hissy fits but they want to throw me away because they think life would be better with Jane. Why Oh Why wasn’t I given a manual to raise my girls when they were born?