Savannah - posted on 07/20/2015 ( 10 moms have responded )
I'm trying to figure out a reasonable and positive solution to helping my boyfriend and the possible child he may have. My boyfriend's ex was a very abusive individual. He made the mistake of sleeping with her once before him and I met, after trying to separate himself from her for a very long time. Several months into our relationship she called and said she was pregnant. But, because she was doing meth daily she didn't know who the dad was! We do not do drugs, we have a stable home and only wish the best for her and this child. I know people make poor choice and often times motherhood can turn one's life around. The issue was that she has no idea who the father really is. There are at least 2 other men she has told him about that could be the father. Not wanting her to be alone, he tried to be communicative and receptive towards helping her and both of us wanted to be there for her. It immediately got bad because she became very angry that he wouldn't leave me for her. I understand that she is struggling and sympathize with her feelings. What she began to do was stalk me, send me physically threatening emails and text messages. She tried to run me over in bright daylight in front of the grocery store once (I wish I was joking about this). I was afraid she would show up at our house and try to hurt us because she has a history of drug abuse and physical assault. To this day she has simply refused to allow him a dna test, has moved to a secret location and send very violent communication in regards to how she can't wait for the day she can hurt me. We do not know if it is indeed his kid, but she won't permit any ability to try and resolve the issue reasonably. I am more than willing to provide him support and even lay aside my own fears of how much she seems to hate me. I just don't know how to make it better. I lost a baby a few months ago in a early first trimester miscarriage and somehow she caught wind of it. She has proceeded to call his family, friends and pretty much anyone she could think of to tell them I had an abortion and am a monster. He deserves to know if it is his, especially because the child was born with some birth defects... I hope I don't anger anyone who has a bad situation with a low life father of their child or a nasty new girlfriend/wife of their former partner. That's just not us though! Please help, I'm sorry this is so long winded...