People trying to hold and take my baby alone

Hilary - posted on 05/11/2015 ( 3 moms have responded )

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My father in law tries to walk away with my daughter and had taken her in the basement of his house for a few minutes alone with him a couple of times and it makes me furious. I don't understand why he does it because gr8 barely even calls to check on her, do why does he need to be alone with her and take her out of my sight when he sees her. Yesterday he tried to change her diaper and he constantly asks does her diaper need to be changed. I stopped him dead in his tracks because he went ad far as to undo her diaper and I took her away from him and proceeded to change her myself. I've discussed this with my husband and he became defensive and upset with me. How do I address this issue without offending anyone?

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Raye - posted on 05/11/2015

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Sit with your husband and let him know you are uncomfortable with ANYone taking your daughter out of your sight. ASK him to talk to his family about respecting your wishes. Say something to the effect of "Maybe it's all hormones and I'm being overprotective, but I would appreciate anyone other then you who is holding her to stay in the same room with me. Please humor me by asking your friends/family to do this. I will talk (or have talked) to my friends/family to request the same from them. I know I'm probably being silly, but would you please do this for me?" This way, it doesn't seem like you're picking on his family or any one person. But then you have to make sure you are treating everyone the same and not slip up and let someone in your family be alone with her, or your husband will feel that it's his family you have a problem with.

Maybe the FIL wasn't very active in his kid's early childhoods, and he honesty wants to try to make up for that by changing diapers and stuff now. But, if you have a bad feeling abut it, then you're doing right to protect your child.

Hilary - posted on 05/11/2015

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Hi Raye, my concern would be with anyone taking her away from me alone other than her dad. My father in law concerns me because he specifically tries to change her diaper and walks away to be alone with her. Bottom line it gives me a bad feeling and I don't like it. My gut tells me something is off.

Raye - posted on 05/11/2015

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Is there any reason to suspect your FIL of doing anything inappropriate to your daughter? If you don't want "people" (meaning ALL other people) taking her out of your sight, then that's your decision. Your husband should understand and talk to ALL his family (not just singling out his father) about respecting your wishes. If you're trying to accuse your FIL, then that's where it can cause tension. You may have valid concerns, but you need to approach it delicately.

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