Perfect pregnancy, crap outcome

Vicky - posted on 09/24/2013 ( 12 moms have responded )

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Ok so long story short I'm 24 type 1insulin dependant diabetic. We had a baby February 2012 but unfortunately lost our son 4days later, during my emergency cesarean they had to extend the usual incision over my hips and up towards my belly button (known as an invented T) I also lost a massive amount of blood to the point my partner came close to loosing us both there and then. In the process of trying to deliver our son they had no choice but to knock me out, drag the lead doctor of the department and break our sons arm to get him free. 4days later on Neonatal we had no choice but to remove his life support due to the lack of oxygen to the base of his brain. The blood transfusion I was given while still in hospital was not working so I went home with Iron tablets and loads of tablets. The day of my second stitch removal visit to the hospital a week later the wound became majorly infected, resulting in daily doctors and district nurse visits to the point they were talking about reconstructive/plastic surgery and I only got discharged from them December 2012 and now have an extra 2 "belly buttons" for the privilege.

My question to you all is as doctors have not said how long we should wait before trying or his little brother or sister, what would you advise? I would appreciate any help you can give and apologies if this had upset anybody x

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Dove - posted on 09/25/2013

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I can say that with a regular c-section doctors typically want at least 2 years between deliveries. I have no idea if it would be the same or not w/ your type of c-section... especially w/ all the complications afterwards.

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Taz - posted on 09/27/2013

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Im so so sorry for your loss brought me to tears!!! With all that's going on with you physically I would say wait to heal properly and then try again. Do they have any answers to why your son died? Many many hugs and prayers for your family. Im sorry passed this up post up ,hope my response helps:-)

Rebecca - posted on 09/27/2013

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I'm sorry for your loss.
I had a complicated "planned" c section. Many things went wrong but my daughter is healthy. I too almost died and had to get transfusions and a second surgery. I then almost died during the following year but I survived. I was very sick and in a lot of pain for a long time after having my daughter. I decided to have another baby but talked to my doctors about it first and they all gave me the go ahead. I figured another child would either kill me or make me feel better and I was right. I had my son when my daughter was 2 years and 4 months old. His c section went great and I feel so much better after having him. I have no more abdominal pain from my first c section.

My advise to you would be to assess how you feel physically and emotionally and then talk to your doctor. If you feel you are ready and the doctor thinks you are ready then you should be ok.

Good luck to you!

[deleted account]

I am sorry for your loss. You have been through so much. I hope the future will be much better. I too do not have any much input. But even though I had natural birth and waited a whole year to get pregnant again with my second one, I was very tired. With my third I waited 3 years it felt like getting pregnant for the first time. I honestly think you are young, and although you seem eager to try again, make sure your body is ready. Good luck for you whatever you decide :)

Grace - posted on 09/26/2013

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First of all, am so sorry for ur loss.
Well, am not a doctor or expert, but myself I delivered my two sons by c-section. They are 5yrs apart, everyhing normal and am healthy as well. But then after I delivered my second child things has been changed a lot. I became very weak and haven't had my period for past 5months (haven't had any sex) just not myself anymore. I want to have 3rd baby but am planning to have after 7yrs due to my condition.

My point is, eve in my condition am giving myself a lot time to recover properly so that i won't have any problems when i have my 3rd one.
So i think u should give urself time to recover properly. When ur
body is fully ready then go for 9months of miracle. I know it might take yrs but its better tha losing another due to ur health problem, if understand what am trying to say.

Take care of urself and don't worry too much its not goin to help ur recovery. Worrying or get stress cause depression. So keep smile always put ur self n soul to happy place.

God bless u, always.

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 09/25/2013

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Vicki, you've been thru a lot, but if your bloodwork is fine, and you are now feeling healthy, and ready to try again, I'd say go ahead.

Make sure that your physicians are aware of the conditions of your first pregnancy, so that they can be on the lookout for everything, and good luck!

Julie A - posted on 09/25/2013

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Vicky I'm so sorry about your son. Can definitely relate. I think if you are ready, go for it. Our bodies can do amazing things and heal fast and beautifully. Good luck

Gena - posted on 09/25/2013

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Sorry for your loss and all the health issues.I would have also said when your body is healed and you feel ready. Good luck

Cecilia - posted on 09/24/2013

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It does make sense. Many people choose to try again right away and are very happy with their choice.

Vicky - posted on 09/24/2013

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Thank you. Yes I am all healed and my blood work is fine. I'm still sitting on the fence as to weather or not I can 100% say with confidence that I am emotionally ready but part of me thinks that having the reality of another baby on the way may help me to settle my mind if that makes sense x

Cecilia - posted on 09/24/2013

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I'm sorry for your loss first. I hope all is okay.

I would think you can try soon as your body is healed. That would mean your stitches healed and your iron levels back to normal. If you think you're emotionally ready anyways.

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