phoned police when i found boyfriends drugs

Shelley - posted on 08/04/2012 ( 3 moms have responded )

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My daughter is 19. She is gorgeous and smart , but has always been uncomfortable socializing. hard for her open up .
She started seeing a baseball player and they have be going out for 2 years. Many times she has tried to break up with him. But she always goes back because she has no friends to hang out with. 4 months ago I went to visit her, she was living with BF now , and she looked so skinny. No muscle tone at all and she used to be a gymnast so it was shocking to see her look this way so suddenly.
3 mnths ago she said that she had left him and was living with a friend who didnt do drugs or drink.last month she phned me to come pick her up and she was puking,red welts on her face , skeletal.I took her in the car and booked out of work for 2 weeks to take her to a little island that we love to camp at. She admitted her and BF were meth users. She was wonderful after a few days. Gained weight back , skin cleared, started making goal plans for her life.E GOT BACK 2 WEEKS GO. aLL IS GOOD,she stays mostly at home.
But yesterday her boyfriend shows up, I tell him to leave. He does. Leaves 3 back packs by our back door. I find them. Scales, drugs , butane torch. I phone the cops, they come , daughter freaks out. Says that is how he makes his money. Says she is going to kill us.They are still looking for him. She is here,eating,sleeping, but leaves for a couple hours at a time.We have started locking the doors,she is furious.We tlod her that she can leave rather then swear at us and be disrespectful.Truth is , we are a little scared to for our families safety.
But she was doing so good until he came back on the scene. She was working towards going to Australia in October. Getting her papers in order,passport,. I think we may have had a shot of her getting the counciling she needed. She was so open to communicating for the fist time until I called the cops.
So today I am inviting her to dinner to discuss what we are prepared to do to work with her on this if she wants help ,pay for treatment,help her get her drivers licsence, room and board while she is getting help, set up a cell phone for her, inexchange for her talking to a professional and getting tests done to see if she has an underlying mental health issue and to discuss treatment options.
If she is not ready to get help we will not be able to be the place for her to sleep and eat and then go out and do more drugs. She will have to go out and take her chances with this xboyfriend who is on the run and being charged with trafficking. She told the police that they were commonlaw!Which means that she could get charged with trafficking also.
I am just not sure how bad she has been into this drug. Could she not be addicted and I am pushing her into that direction with this stand I am about to take?

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Lacye - posted on 08/04/2012

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The first thing you need to do is tell the police that he called your house and contacted your daughter. You did the right thing by turning him in. Second, you need to talk to your daughter, with another person with you in case she does try to attack you. You are going to have to give her the ultimatum. It's going to be hard but if she's not willing to do anything about getting the help she needs, there is not much you are going to be able to do for her.

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Dove - posted on 08/04/2012

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You are doing the right thing. She needs to either be away from this guy and working towards getting and staying clean.... or stay out of your house. You need to make this very clear to her and that you WILL call the police if she comes back to your home after you have had this discussion.



I know you want to help her and you should let her know that you will ALWAYS be willing to help her and be there for her, BUT... she needs to be ready and willing to accept that help first.



Be strong and hopefully you will get her back some day. If you enable her, you just make it that much 'easier' for her to never change.



Good luck and stay strong!!!!

Shelley - posted on 08/04/2012

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He just phoned our house to talk to MOrgan. I actually gave the phone to her!!!I cant believe it. Told her to tell him not to call here again.TOld her I want to have a talk with her , she said not right now. I told her today. She said later.
I am so mad , but I am afraid that she will attack me again if I dont leave her room.

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