physical fighting between brothers

Charlie - posted on 03/07/2012 ( 4 moms have responded )

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they are all very helpful for when my boys argue, but i need some advise for dealing with the physical fighting, which can be very violent.

we have tryed taking things away, money loss, privleges taken away but they seem to have calmed down abit but as they get stronger the fights are more full on.



please any advice x

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♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 03/08/2012

13,258

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2015

Ok, so not old enough for the "extreme" steps. At those ages, I'd take them each aside, and talk with them...find out what pushes big brother's buttons, and vice versa.



Mine are going thru a phase where the older one yells answers at his brother...no matter what the question, or comment, big brother's an ass about the answer. We told 'em yesterday that it really was getting old, to hear a 17 yo and 15 yo acting like a couple of 4 year olds...and they stopped! I think maybe it was the total exasperation in their dad's voice. (usually, i'm the "bad cop")



But, they don't get physical.,

Charlie - posted on 03/07/2012

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they are now 9 and 11yrs, but have been doing it since the youngest was 5yrs.

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 03/07/2012

13,258

21

2015

What on earth are they fighting about? Sounds like you need to set your young men down and talk with both of them. A LOT. If they are in their teens and still physically throwing down with each other, that's ridiculous!



If they're little guys, then now's the time to act. However, if you mention that you are taking money and privileges, then they're old enough to be adults.



It's probably not going to fix itself. And every time they do it, it gets worse, so what do you do? You have several options:



1. Counseling. Separate AND family. Find out what's going on in their heads that they have to constantly throw down with each other, and fix it.



2. Next time they get physical call the police. You probably aren't big enough to get in the middle of them, and I don't encourage it. But, if you're at your wits end, call 'em in. Let the cops handle it.



3. Next time, ask the "victim" if he'd like to press assault charges. Just make sure that you're fair, and if the other brother becomes the "victim", he gets the same choice.



But seriously? I'd start with counseling. The other two are my "extreme" solutions, and I've only used the 3rd...once...and my boys looked at me and said "Assault? Against my brother?" And they haven't thrown down since.



Ok, so they weren't doing it that often to begin with, but I figured I'd stop it before it started.

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