please help

Parris - posted on 04/02/2013 ( 9 moms have responded )

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im wondering if my ex who is my 3 yr old he is only a legal father he never adopted him or when he cheated on me when i was out of town lied we never signed coustody papers now hes tryin to keep my son can he do that or can i just take him

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Melissa - posted on 04/02/2013

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Paris,
I hope everything works out best for you. I also wanted to add that, as a fellow mother having gone through many obstacles, before making any decision where we are emotionally reacting or maybe impulsive... that it is crucial to try to take time to think our decisions through when we have had time to cool off. I sure know how hard it is when we are hurt, deceived, and betrayed... to put emotions aside and try to gather all the facts and variables involved. I also know how much children can be affected by adults poor choices, mistakes, or bad judgment. I don't know your situation any further than this current issue you are facing, so please don't think I am pointing any fingers. I am just trying to possibly help you to think.. any drastic, life changing decisions for you and your son... through before acting. As adults we can adapt to change better because we are able to understand concepts. The children are just there following with us. Now your decision may be the right one for you both, again I am not in your shoes, I just want you to be sure that this is the right, next step and not a decision that you may regret. I hope you and your son find happiness. I look forward to hearing back from you on how it all turned out. :) good luck Paris!!

Melissa - posted on 04/02/2013

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oh, ok... thank you for sharing your story, and such personal info. I feel confident in providing my answer to you with knowing more background info. You definitely are 100% in charge of your son and where you go with him! If he has no legal paperwork linking him to your son then NO he cannot do anything about you leaving with your son!

Melissa - posted on 04/02/2013

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well if he is not the father per paternity results or signing the birth certificate, then he cannot take your child. But again, i would need more info, to give more informed and correct advice. I'm sorry you are going through such a thing right now. It's unfortunate how some people turn to the children for leverage, power, or amo. :( My ex is also, a man who "uses" our kids.

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Parris - posted on 04/02/2013

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ok thank u sooooooooooooooooooooooo much hopefully when i get bk hme ill write u to tell u im have my son that is awesome

Parris - posted on 04/02/2013

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well when i met this man he knew my sistuation with my sons bio dad he said he would be there now my son is 3 hes been there since day one we were to gether of 4 yrs he told me i needed a vacation so i take one not only to get a call well i cancled the ticket were comin there ok well wk went by nd i found out he cheated on me wit a good friend of mine no i came to get my child now he says hes not leavin his side thts my micrale baby and be a cold day in hell im givin him up my plan leaves in a wk in a half n im takin my son. im just wonderin if he culd stop me there is no paperwork sayin i gave him coustody or nothin i dont see y i would have a problem but im just wonderin

Parris - posted on 04/02/2013

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no he is not the father. nevermind the adoption part all i want to know is if he can do anything

Melissa - posted on 04/02/2013

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can i ask a little more, clarity? Are you saying he IS the father? Was there a paternity test? If there was a paternity test to be performed, would he indeed be the DNA/blood father of your son? I'm not sure what it is you meant, because the "adoption" part threw me off.

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