!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!PLEASE HELP!!!!!!!!!!!

Leslie - posted on 03/03/2014 ( 2 moms have responded )

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My boyfriend has met my kids they hit it off great... we have progressed to him coming over quite frequently. But now there is an issue. And it's with me. I have been divorced and single for 8 years. It's just been me and my kids. My issue is my boyfriend stepping in to help when I am disciplining my kids by disciplining my kids I will warn them and or ground them. They can whine at times and back talk and while I am correcting them he will step in. I know he is only trying to help. BUT I CANT STAND IT! My thoughts if I'm there I can handle it by myself. ... If he is there and I'm not then ok.... I kNow I'm wrong. I just don't know how to deal with this...

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Jodi - posted on 03/03/2014

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Talk to him about it. Let him know that you're really not okay with it and you are fine dealing with your kids. You aren't wrong at all. I tend to be disiplinarian of my son and my hubby and I have been married for 10 years. He doesn't interfere with that (more because he doesn't feel right about it than that I have a problem with it, but still.....).

To be honest, if I am disciplining the kids, hubby never steps in. If he is disciplining our daughter for one reason or another, I don't step in because that is between the two of them. I just support whatever consequences he imposes, and vice versa. By one parent stepping in and taking over what the other parent started (you know, the old adage "wait 'til you father gets home"), you actually diminish the authority of that parent. You could explain it to him in that way.

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Leslie - posted on 03/03/2014

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Thank you so much and that is so true... my biggest problem is it has been just me and my kiddos for 8 yrs. And it's so hard to deal with this.. I know his intentions are good but it aggravates me. My kids n I joke around a lot to and it's things we have always done and I find him trying to put a stop to it... like for example. While joking around my daughter will call me woman or Leslie (by my name) she means no harm and is only joking... she knows the boundaries of joking when it's appropriate and when it is not... and he has pulled her to the side and told her it is not polite and he don't want her calling me that... and that too upset me because that is our thing we do and again she would never step out of line with it... my kids r well behaved yes they have their moments they are kids... I know it's My issue.. it's just some one else stepping in to discipline them. I know with him being a part of our lives he will be disciplining them also... is it bad for me to want to do it by myself? Like if I'm there I do it... and of course if he is there with them and I'm not then he will. My other issue is I don't know how to bring this to light. How do I talk to him about this. I don't want to hurt him or upset him. It's awful because everything else is perfect. But this just nags at me and I can't shake it.

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