please help ...

Leanna - posted on 02/09/2015 ( 10 moms have responded )

3

0

1

Iam a single mom and my little girl is 7 years old and her father will not do anything for her ..He is also on disibility but can drink, smoke, and party ...dont know where to turn because he does not stay in one area for two long before living somewhere else...and he always told me i would never get child support from him because he is protected under the disibility act and at one time i believed that and now not so sure because i dont see how anyone can donate sperm and not have to pay to help raise a child ...not fair.

10 Comments

View replies by

Sarah - posted on 02/12/2015

10,227

0

26

Don't just assume that he is being honest with you. Find the right answer for yourself.

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 02/12/2015

13,264

21

2015

SS disability provides for dependent children, IF they are notified of the proven existence of the kid.

If your ex(he's not a sperm donor...You chose to sleep with the guy. You did NOT go to a clinic for insemination.) is on SS disability, he can call his caseworker and add the kid. If not, and you have court ordered support, you can request that it be taken out of his disability...

Dove - posted on 02/12/2015

12,412

0

1354

I have no idea about the money aspect... you would have to talk to your lawyer or the department that he is receiving his funds from and go from there on that.

As for the 'him not able to get you pregnant' BS... so you just had sex w/ some guy and no condom just because you couldn't get pregnant? Avoiding conception was not just HIS responsibility....

As for him not helping.... that is life for SO many women and children (and men too... when they are the ones w/ custody). You just stop focusing on what he is or isn't doing and put your focus on your child.

Sarah - posted on 02/12/2015

10,227

0

26

It does truly depend on the disability. If he is simply disabled and has never worked, then he is protected by the American with Disabilities Act, and is probably not obligated to pay support. If he collects a check from the government, then that is a different story. You need to find out the status of his disability. If you can't get support from him, then go apply at the Dept of Human Services for assistance until you get to a point of supporting yourself.

Raye - posted on 02/12/2015

3,761

0

21

My dad quit his job and got on disability so he wouldn't have to pay child support. I think it depends on where you live, because he was thousands of dollars behind when I turned 18 and he never had to pay it.

Should you file to try to get support from him... Yes.
Will you end up getting support from him... who knows.
Should you do your best to raise your child with or without his assistance... Yes.

Stop being bitter because you fell for a jerk-face and got pregnant. Get over it. Be an adult and think about what's best for your child.

Jodi - posted on 02/11/2015

3,562

36

3907

You fell for the oldest story in the book. That is still not a sperm donation. It's an asshole act.

I agree you shouldn't have to do it on your own. BUT depending on where you live, if he is on disability, you will certainly at least be doing it mostly on your own, unfortunately.If he is on disability, even if you did file, it probably won't be a whole lot.

You also fell for him telling you that you'd get no child support, rather than filing for it. You could try and file for it now, anyway. You'd have to prove paternity to do so, have you got proof?

Leanna - posted on 02/11/2015

3

0

1

ok Jodi when i met him i was told that he could not have any children because he said he had cancer at one time and dr said he could not reproduce anymore and i had simply said ok because i do not want any more children because i had already had 1 daughter and a son who was deceased and wasnt wanting to have another child and that i could get pregnant and he said dont worry it wont happen ....but it did
so since it did i love my lil girl so much that i would not change it now but i should not have to do it on my own

Sarah - posted on 02/10/2015

10,227

0

26

To clarify, if he is on Social Security disability; he received a check each month that is based on his former income and how many quarters he worked to contribute to SS. Monthly disability amounts vary widely. IF he is on SS, and receives 1000 a month for himself, he does not give half of that amount to his dependents, rather a separate check gets issued to the child (there would be an adult payee) in the amount of one-half of his benefit. So in the scenario I presented, the total payout from SS would be 1500. If there are ten dependents, then those ten kids share the 500 portion and each registered child would get a separate check.
Now if he has never worked and gets government assistance, food stamps, medicaid, TANF, or housing, I am not sure how that affects the dependent kids. Talk to the Dept of Human Services and see if you can figure out what type of disability assistance he receives. His tax returns would be a good place to start.

Jodi - posted on 02/09/2015

3,562

36

3907

OK I am first up going to say this. He DID NOT donate sperm. Please do NOT put him in the same category as the men who actually do donate sperm. Sperm donors should be applauded because they HELP so many infertile couples. You can't now decide he wasn't good enough to sleep with. He was at the time. He's just a shitty father, but he didn't "donate" his sperm to you. He fucked you and ran. Let's get that straight. That isn't what sperm donors do.

On the issue of disability, it probably depends where you live as to whether you can collect from it. Here in Australia, you'd never get $500 off a father on disability.

Sarah - posted on 02/09/2015

10,227

0

26

If he gets disability then his dependent children get to share one half of his amount. If he gets 1000 bucks a month, and she is his only child, she should get a check for 500 hundred a month. If there are more kids they all have to share the money. Go to the nearest Social Security office or call them, they have agents to help you and she'd be entitled to the retroactive payments as well.

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms