PLEASE HELP ABUSIVE 11yr old step son with Downs syndrome!!

Emily - posted on 04/02/2015 ( 1 mom has responded )




Me and my husband have been together for four years now and the whole time I have always had issues with him, but it is just getting worse now.. Lately it is to the point that I am actually scarred of him!! Just today he lunged at me and started doing what ever he could to hurt me, punching, smacking, biting, spitting, and pulling my hair out!! It was so bad that once I finally got him off of me I ran out and had to hide in my room with my baby and lock the door so he couldn't come in!! I am so scared, not only for me but for our three other children as well!! Next time I'm afraid I might have to call the cops to stop him before he actually really hurts one of us.. My husband on the other hand sees it completely different.. Every time something happens he already has his mind made up and has already chosen to defend his son no matter what!! Every time he says the same thing "He can't help it he has Downs, it's not his fault that he doesn't know what he is doing!!" I completely disagree!! I know the he knows right from wrong, but with my husband always defending him that way I think it is further disabling him by not holding him accountable for his own actions!!! Life is not always going to excuse everything he does just because he has a disability ya know! Am I being to harsh on the kid, or am I right and he can be held accountable for his actions??


Ev - posted on 04/03/2015




I agree that his actions are cause for concern. I agree he needs some sort of intervention so he can learn things.

But some people with downs may not have the mental capacity to understand that they are doing wrong and not right depending on how their downs syndrome is. You have to understand that even though its a danger to your children and you, he may not understand things like we typical people do.

Other things to consider:

Has he been taught right from wrong?
Has he been taught that hitting or attacking is wrong?
Has he had intervention and therapy all along?
Could dad be in denial of this situation and not want to face the fact that his son is being like this and hopes that this goes away?

What you need to do is to find out what treatment he has had in the past, if his mother and father have implemented it in the home on a regular basis and stayed consistent with it. You need to know what they plan to do about it now doing this. You also need to tell dad that unless he finds a way to handle this you might have to leave with the other kids for their protection. If this continues call family services for help.

That is the best advice to give you that I can think of. I have worked with kids with disabilities and when it came to issues of discipline, we had to follow a behavior plan or we did what we did with typical kids and told the child that hitting, biting, or what have you was a no-no and either redirect them to another task or got outside help.

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