Susan - posted on 02/07/2016 ( 11 moms have responded )
My daughter is in her thirties. We have had a difficult relationship most of her adult life. I recently found out that she unfriended me on facebook. I called her and asked her why. She replied that I did not respect her bounderies and disrespected HER. I asked her to explain what she meant. She said that I give her my opinion when not asked and just disrespect her. She explained that she was tired of receiving letters and email, or text from me when she has done something wrong. I said that I only do that because you slam the phone down on me or leave when I have to tell you something you may not, but need to hear. For example, one evening we came home late and she looked very tired as she was feeding her son. I asked where she kept the bibs for him and I would go get it, as she looked tired. She threw down her napkin and said, "that's it, we are leaving!" She later told me that she doesn't use bibs and that she thought I was criticizing her parenting. Another ex: She leaves wet towels on the bed, I walked in to find her son abusing a sick cat by body slamming the cat and pulling its tail and legs and the cat screamed for dear life. I told my grandson to not hurt the cat and my daughter yelled from the back room to leave him alone, he will have to learn the hard way. She resented me telling not to leave wet towels on the bed, even though I asked her in a nice way.I have never used profanity with her, even in heated discussions. She has used profanity, wished me dead, and much worse. She interrupts when I speak to her and continues to talk over me even when I ask her not to. I could go on, but you get the idea. I don't know what to do next. I told her tonight that I have learned to pick my battles and when I see something happening that is not right, I will say so, but always respectfully. She wants to have a relationship with me, only if I just listen and use the words, great, wonderful, terrific...but I can't say to her, please stop telling me to go to hell. I am stumped. I wrote a long letter to her stating that until she can talk to me respectfully and listen to me without interrupting me, then we should not be in communication. I need some peace and I am tired of waiting for her to grow up. I have been verbally assaulted by her since she was 13 and I am worn out emotionally. Unfortunately, she is the only child I have. I have always longed for us to be as close as I was to my mother, but I don't think it is going to happen. Would welcome your thoughts. Thank you!