Please help, do I try to get contact for my son with his dad...

Laura - posted on 03/15/2016 ( 4 moms have responded )

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Hello,
I have a little boy who is 2. I am needing some advice, his father has never seen him or financially supported him, I haven't had any contact with his father for 2 years he has never bothered to contact myself or my family to try get contact. I have recently gone to CSA (CMS now) as I am struggling on my own. My question is should I make contact with his father to see if he wants a relationship with his son or should it be him making the effort to contact myself over him ? It's taken me so long as I've needed to rebuild my confidence and feel confident now to see him. He also has 4 other children my sons half brothers and sisters. He left me in a lot of debt and I lent him a lot of money which was never repaid. Should it be me making the effort or should it be him?! Please help! I just want the best for my son. I don't want to be let down and I'm not sure how he'll react when I see him. Help please

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Sarah - posted on 03/15/2016

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At the very least filfe for child support. If he wants to see his kid, let him call you

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Tanisha - posted on 03/15/2016

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I have no idea what changed in my sons fathers life to want to be apart of my sons life now but i couldn't deny my son the relationship he always wanted with his dad. before now he was a little depressed that his father would not come around or call but he's happy now. they spend time together and my son even goes to church with his dad on Sundays which is crazy because he hated going to church with me. I wish that his father was around when he was younger but hes almost an adult now i feel hes a little too late to want to be a father to him now but I'll just let it be.

Laura - posted on 03/15/2016

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Thank you Hun very helpful, how does your son feel that his dad was never bothered ? I'm just worried how he will feel later on life he's also a lot older than me and worry if anything happens to his dad he will blame me for not making the effort. So hard trying to decide.

Tanisha - posted on 03/15/2016

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well i was in the similar situation for a long time. my oldest son is now 17 and it took his father 15 years to come around and acknowledge that he had a son. all he ever sent was the child support check and was never an active part in his life. and for along time i struggled working part time jobs and actually depending on the cs check that he sent. i tried to reach out and got no results. It should be the father who reaches out to his child i firmly believe that. no man should neglect his child ever. especially if he has a son. you can try to reach out to him but if you get no results what can you do? keep doing the best you can as a a mom to your son.

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