Serene - posted on 11/14/2013 ( no moms have responded yet )
THOSE 9 MONTHS iVE NEVER BEEN HAPPIER AND FILLED WITH SMILES AND FEELING SO BEAUTIFUL TOGETHER AS ONE. It was only her and I, and when she arrived it was as if I wanted to just be with her always; every moment, every smile, every breath, and every tear. That feeling never went away.Being single and self-employed I was only able to take the entire first yr. off. It got really hard to leave her even for half a day even though she was with grandma (an awesome women.) The bills got heavier and heavier with only so much saved for that time-off. The july before her third birthday the sperm donor whom had not once been there for her wanted to visit and reminded me that if I dont do as he suggests I do; he will with his mommys money and his drug dealing money in humboldt county ca. it would give him the ability to take her away from me. WELL, RANDOM SEX was a part of his "suggestions" to keep the "peace" He wanted to have sex during exchanges on mountain roads while shes sleeping in the carseat. I allowed that to take place once; when I was asked a second time at a meeting a month later she was awake in the carseat. I said "no" and explained that I want to be a good role model for my daughter and that does not include allowing any man or her sperm donor to treat women that way; I then explained I am not interested in anyone but my daughter and it would remain that way. I did not want to have sex outside of a stable relationship with anyone, I want my daughter to wait for marriage if possible why wouldnt i do the same. 25 days later july 26 he filed for full legal and physical custody reminding me with phonecalls and texts I did save and present to the courts that he has more money(drug money,) and he will win. In mediation he said he wanted full everything I mediated him down to a logical every other weekend; even that scared me (she had never slept alone.) His anger built at every exchange, September dumping alcohol from a marijuana scene and water on me as im in mid conversation with daughter splashing the contents over her as well; putting thumb cuffs on me and dragging me out the door by hair, down the driveway, holding me there face down and reminding me of why I SHOULD HAVE done what he asked of me in our relationship,reminding me of his money and threatening to kill loved ones if I spoke the truth he then called the police lying to them of me beating on him. (it was sadly obvious to them he was lying; I looked like I had been dragged behind a truck.) december the same yr. he picked up a large rock shattering glass over daughter and I by smashing in driver side window as we pulled away; this time I called the police asking for assistance with the glass and to make a report. I asked that the exchanges take place at my mothers without my presence so these angry outbursts would not happen for daughters safety. after a few months he demanded I show my face "or else." The angry outbursts slowed but did not stop. June 5, 2012 he demanded to see her claiming I was keeping him from calling her over the weekend when in truth I had no cell service and he had never cared before. He threatened with court and to never allow me to say goodnight again when he has her. tuesday june 5, 2012 I brought her to visit him in fear of his threats, when I arrived daughter in my arms he opened door with a large mason jar filled with water throwing it in my face, I went to leave; this was hard for little one to comprehend so i played it off saying "OMGosh whats daddy doing, having a water fight?"He violenlty ripped her from my grasp as I took steps back. I played it safe by rather than arguing politly asking how long he wanted to visit, "the afternoon?" i suggested. his reply was "I have shit to do later" I then suggested an hour or two while I did some computer work. he said "ok" i blew little 3 yr. old daughter a kiss telling her I will see her soon, I turned around, I took 3 steps... I heard him yell "get out" then I saw shards of glass shatter past the left side of my face. My vision left and breathing slowed as I crumpled to the ground; what felt like a minute passed even though it was probably more like 30 seconds. My face was lying in a puddle of blood spewing out of the back of my head, I placed my hand on the back of my head feeling shards of glass protruding out and many litle shards being pushed into the skull. long story shortened he threatened on the way to the e.r. with little one in the rear seat to kill loved ones and take little one from me with all his money if I spoke the truth. When we arrived he tried fleeing away with little beauty, I dropped the towel I had pressed to my head and clung to the side of the truck telling him he is going NO WHERE with her. The blood began to spew out of my head scaring the killer himself, he ran inside saying he had a bleeding girl making every false claim he could and tripping over his words; the e.r. immediately called the local sheriffs when they arrived I remembered his threats and told the sheriffs I was scared to tell the truth and our lives would be over. The DOCTOR explained this injury is serious and certainly could have caused my death; he fractured my skull, 14 staples.The next exchange following he arrived early threw 3yr.old beauty onto his floorboards in back and left full speed down the road(I kept seeing her open the back door wondering if I was going to witness her death) I immediatly filed! we went to court it was settled the same i did not get the r.o. pushed because my lawyer at the time knew very well he had more money and I found out later this is extortion; but my own lawyer told me to settle with a stay away order. I was new to the courts and was told to listen to your lawyer. (bad move) two months later he took me back to court asking I be drug tested; he got temporary orders until drug test came through negative(of course), we were just put in mediation after that and he was all smiles while i was in tears missing those little hands i love so much.after mediation i mentioned youve never once been there for her; as he walked away he stated "it doesnt matter so long as I take her away from you."smiling as he walks away.He was recently raided and ARRESTED MARCH THIS YR. with her there, a lot was found(assult weapons,cocaine,400pounds marijuana). I filed for her safety immediately,he left with her hiding from service after bailing out. I only got to be with her a month before he filed again with lies that I may leave the country with her. He has a lot of money. PLEASE HELP, I CANNOT BREATHE; but i must for her... I Love You Daughter, Always.