Sarah - posted on 03/04/2015 ( 7 moms have responded )
This past Monday night I had to do one of the hardest things in my life and 302 my husband. My husband was in the military for 4 years when he was in his twenties...he has never went to combat, but he has told me on multiple occasions that he has seen things that he will never talk about. My husband also suffers from Bipolar disorder. I have seen him get depressed..but bounce back a few days later. I know his life growing up with his parents was not the healthiest, there was a lot of physical and mental abuse...the use of hardcore drugs by his father (not his mother)...from what I have gathered it was not a healthy household by any means. At one point in his lifetime..I am not sure when, it wasn't when we were together but he tried committing suicide...after his military days. I do not think his parents got him the proper help...I know they about the suicide attempt...but I don't think they wanted to deal with it. Which baffles me.
My husband and I have not been married a year yet (april)...but I have never seen him this way before. We have a 6 month of daughter. His personality had declined immensely. I thought maybe he didn't want to be together anymore....and he said he loves and and does not want to break up. His personality is so different it is like his is off of a different planet....he started drinking Pabst beer 24oz cans..that come in a 6 pack. He would drink all 6 within an hour and a half. On sunday night he was in our bedroom..sitting in the dark staring at our dresser. If, I sat next to him he wouldn't say two words. All he does on his days off is drink...he no longer was paying attention to me or our daughter. For a few months he was acting really strangly..I didn't put much thought into it. If I asked him do you want me to watch tv with you...he wouldn't answer, it felt more than just plan old ignoring me. For weeks I have been crying.
On Monday around 430pm, I received a phone call from a co-worker saying he never returned from his lunch break to work. Which is really unusual for him, he normally is very prompt. I became really panicky...because of all the bs that I have been dealing with for weeks. A zillion thoughts ran through my mind. And he doesn't have a cell phone. After 45 minutes later I hear a knock at the door and it is my husband. The first thing he said to me is I quit my job, while holding a 6 pack of beer. He told me that he got demoted for something that out of his control but his pay will be the same. I was so angry because that decision affects both my daughter and I. But I didn't act upon it. We live with my parents because we can't afford our own place..to many bills. To make a really long story short...he up a leaves the house and walked to the nearest police station. He calls me 3 hours later and says I need to get help....then in the same breath he says I'm fine. We talked with my parents...and my stepdad and mom said that he is on the brink of having a breakdown...they could tell he wasn't all there, he reminded them of someone that returned home from war. My parents were leaving for Hawaii early morning the next day. My husband started saying he feels that everyone at work is ganging up on him and that he said he thinks a co worker of his is following him. He became really paranoid. It felt like if he would look at you that we was looking past you. He is not the same person that I married 10 months ago...or even 6 months ago. My husband is not all here mentally.
At 930 monday night he was 302. He didn't fight it....he has to stay for 72 hour evaluation. I have not heard from any of his doctors...even though I left messages. I don't him to sugar coat anything so he can get out of there earlier. He needs help. The doctors need to know what has been going on from another persons perspective.
I feel all alone. I have never done anything like this. Has anyone been through anything similar to this before? Please I need some help..thoughts...advice...and prayers. I'm desperate, but staying strong for my daughter and husband.