Please Help I need advice about dealing with my daughter father.

Tara - posted on 05/12/2013 ( 1 mom has responded )




Hello I'm a mother of a beautiful three and half year old little girl. Her father and I knew each other for 12 years and we dated for 6 years. Throughout the relationship he was physically abusive, compulsive cheater, and he didn't provide any financial assistance for our child. The day I went into labor he confessed that he had slept with his first cousin and it's was the first time I learned he cheated on me. I forgave him for the incident for the sake of my child, but he continue to cheat on me. He cheated for the last time with another cousin and got her pregnant. We have been separated for the one year now. I'm been a new relationship for the past year and I have been engaged for the past month. My daughters father still doesn't buy anything or give me any money for my daughter. His family doesn't want him to see his daughter, because they don't like me anymore for telling the family secret. He still tries to visit his daughter every opportunity he allowed. Sometimes I let him keep her for about four hours every other day, but he won't provide me with phone number I call in case of emergency. His girlfriend (cousin) doesn't feel comfort with me having his phone number. I don't feel comfort sending my child somewhere I can't have contact information. I have to sit at home and just pray that he bring my child back home. I hope my child don't feel it's okay to date relatives, because she actually witness her father actions. He help pay his cousin bills, but he tell me to ask my fiance for money for my child. I can't get him to buy my child anything, but he wants to pick up her anytime he feel good and ready. I can't file child support,, because he will get visitation rights and my child will be at risk around his family. I'm really confused and don't know how to handle this situation.


Ev - posted on 05/12/2013




The only way you will get any support out of him for the child is to file for the support. It is a whole other issue to visitation. Visitation is set up and unless you have proof that he is unfit enough to not keep child for a few hours even, you can not keep him from her. You need to get this done on paper ASAP. Make sure you list the issues of contact when he has her for your convenience in case something happens, how visits take place, and all that. Good luck.

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