Stacie - posted on 03/22/2016 ( 17 moms have responded )
I am in need of insight....My husband and I have been married for 4 years. Together we have 3 boys ages 15, 12, and 11. When we got married (unknown by me until about a month ago) my husband promised his son (15 now) that we would not have any babies. The reason he promised that was because my tubes are tied and he didn't think it was an option. Well, it is an option, and we really want to have a child together. Well, about a year ago, we had a conversation with my stepson about our desire to have a baby and he very emphatically said no. Not in a disrespectful or rude way, but he made himself very clear. After that we figured we just wouldn't have a baby. Well, we haven't been able to shake off this desire and it's really been an ache for both of us. After a LOT of discussion, we finally decided to get the tubal reversal. Well, my surgery is scheduled for next month, and my husband tells me he actually PROMISED his son he wouldn't have anymore kids back when we first got married! My husband is feeling horrible about it and is basically pushing me to have "the conversation" with our son. He keeps bringing up how bad he feels and now I am wondering if we should just call the whole thing off! I am so torn. My heart wants so badly to make a little life with my husband who is a little part of all of us, but our son is so 100% against it. He lives with his mom, and is coming for his spring break visit tomorrow. We were supposed to talk to him about it during this visit, but now I just don't know! Do we close this chapter and let go of the hope of making that baby for the sake of one of our kids, or do we break a promise and risk our son resenting us forever? Help!!!! I don't want to sacrifice one child for one we haven't had yet, but I also want so desperately to have a child with my husband!