Please help me? I hate my stupid ex!

Amber - posted on 02/07/2012 ( 5 moms have responded )

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Hi, my name is Amber and i am the mother of a beautiful 2.5 year old daughter. Well I have been having problems with my ex since we broke up which was about a month after my daughter was born. He's a drunk a violent one at that. He has been in and out of jail since I got pregnant. He ever tried to kill himself a few times after finding out I was pregnant he was depressed and it has gone untreated. His recent crime was stabbing a man. He started watching my house from across the street at the park. He was harassing me call me 20+ times a day. So decided to move out of state which is where I have been for the last 4 months I told him and gave him his 30 days to petition for me to stay never got anything so I left. Well 17th of Jan I got a letter in the mail from my old house stating that he decided to take me to mediation. I am of course I'm out of state and the only reason I ended up with it was because my mom still lived there. He has NEVER done anything to help with my daughter. No money nothing all he cared about was drinking and selling drugs. Never kept a job. Well after I moved he stopped calling me I figured because he was watching my house and realized I wasn't there. When he did have contact with my daughter he would keep her once a week and he ended up putting her in danger decided that he wanted to drink and run off and leave my daughter with his grandmother who is about crazy. Then comes to find out he didn't have his mom pick up formula (she was about 4 month old) and had been feeding her water ALL night. The last bottle she had was the one I brought with me that evening and it old had like 4 or 5 oz in it. So needless to say he was no longer aloud to have her alone. Oh he is also on house arrest. He can't leave his home from 7p,m to 7am. He is considered a felon as well.



Anyway to get to my point I cut off all ties with him after he was arrested for stabbing that man. Well today he called me this morning asking if I got the letter in the mail about mediation I told him yes. Then was saying how all he was wanting to know if she was ok. If I would be willing to meet up with him somewhere once or twice a year and call once or twice a month. So I thought about and told him if I agreed to this could we avoid going to court. He said yes so we agreed to this and went on. It was the nicest conversation we have had in over a year. So I thought ok well maybe this will work and hes actually changed so maybe we can pursue something and work it out since he was so mature about it.



WRONG! On boy was a wrong he called me about 2 hours later saying well I have changed my mind I don't want you to have control over my daughter and when I can see here. I'm taking the ball out of your hands and putting it in my court. Blah blah blah. So now it looks like we are going to court. Assuming they no where I live and can serve me. Oh and I documented the conversations too.



So now I'm worried he has NO business raising a child and I'm just tryin to figure out what will happen. I have spoke with my attorney now i'm waiting on him to call me back. But i'm worried he will get every other weekend and she doesn't need to be with his family they are all criminals no job do drugs kind of people. Everytime I think about him taking my little girl for a weekend makes me stomach turn. She has been in my care since she was born he has NO relationship with her. Mostly because he was in jail more then anything. I'm just don't know what to think or do. Will they give my little girl to him or can I push for just supervised visitation. Please HELP me!!! Thank you in advanced!

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Christy - posted on 02/07/2012

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Get all the info you can in writing (or print) about his stints in jail, his suicide attempts, the fact her STABBED someone, etc. He has no business being anywhere NEAR your daughter, neither does his family!!!!! Your attorney should be able to get this information. Be sure and ask all about it to him/her.

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Amber - posted on 02/07/2012

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@ Kay S I agree I didn't think that it would be an issue but in the state of TN which is where we would be going to court. It states that they do what's in the best interest for the child to have BOTH parents involved. How is this whats best? If you were looking for a babysitter and this man came to you and gave you his application with EVERYTHING he has done on it would you let him babysit your kids for a couple of hours? My guess would be no. So if you wouldn't even let this man babysit your kids why on earth would you let him raise a child.



Thank you, I'm trying to stay positive and calm but it's hard. I just keep praying for the best.

Kay - posted on 02/07/2012

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Honestly, it would be an absolute travesty if the courts allowed this man anything by the strictest of supervised visitation schedules, and I think even that would be a stretch.



The best thing you can do is stay calm, keep documenting the conversations, and keep in touch with your lawyer.



Good luck!

Amber - posted on 02/07/2012

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Oh and the Officers know him and his family all to well. The house he lives at is a known drug traffic house.

Amber - posted on 02/07/2012

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Of course there will be files of him in jail and stabbing that man. He also went to the hospital BOTH times when trying ito kill himself his mom took him the first time the second time he called the EMT his self. He went missing while I was still pregnant and found out he had went to ridgeview (which is where people go to speak with a therapist ect) and told them he was gonna kill himself so then put him in a mental hospital he got checked out they gave him anti depressents. Which he never took he took them for a few days then he was "better". Same when he went to jail everytime he got out he "found" god. Don't ask me how many times he found Jesus while he was in jail.



The only thing I don't have proof of is the formula incident. Everything else i do have or can get.

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