Sophie - posted on 02/27/2012 ( 32 moms have responded )
If a woman was 20 weeks and pregnant and she was in her 30's and would not place for adoption but wasn't sure between abortion and parenting what would you advise?
Trigger life story of woman:
She's a drug addict of 13 years. She before that had her first child at 13 with a guy who ran off 4 years later and didn't help her out at all. She had married at 18 and had her second son. While she was a drug addict she did terrible things to her kids. Her husband would sell ODS for money sell him into prostitution. He was as young as 9. She neglected her YDS since he was 3 and abandon him at any place possible. At strangers friends or family same with ODS. He was underweight at times and really sickly because of it. He still looked 4 when he was 7. She came from a domestically violent family and they were physically abusive to her and her ODS. Her husband was physically abusive to him too. Which was his step-child. They lived in a car at times to shelters to motels. Sometimes they used food stamps for drug money. She lost her last pregnancy when she was in a fight while intoxicated. Years go by and her ODS is addicted to cocaine as young as 13 and got a girl pregnant which continues the nasty cycle at barely 18. As her grandchild would get past around from family to family. The kids had an abnormal incestuous relations that tore the family up further. The ODS was kicked out. Soon after the ODS overdoses and not even 20 and the YDS tries to commit suicide several times and is hospitalized and diagnosed with bpd. Continues to struggle with mental stability. Obviously what started out ok went completely south with her lack of parenting. She started out married with her second with a job and her husband had a job no abuse. No deep drug abuse. She hadn't even tried drugs when she had. Her husband and she divorced soon after her ODS died.
Her ex got better she just got worst...
Thing is he didn't for one have to mourn the loss of a child since he was never really his to start with. Second he had several jobs in the past he got a measely minimum wage job but it's better than having no hope and no job or experience besides two real jobs in the mid thirties. So he cleans up. Her family gave up on her and she was of course vulnerable for this time to get what she deserved. She is a needy meth addict and she meets a guy who beat her up and makes her sleep with other guys for money. He threatens if she leaves him he'll find her and kill her. He seems though to be her only friend as no one would 'take care' of her like that. Well eventually she get pregnant again. She's in her mid thirties and actually wants it maybe because of her earlier loss. Like in replacement. Her bf is excited at first. And they plan to keep it but the meth addiction takes its toll. She starts to doubt everything. So she's 20 weeks and she doesn't want life to end that way for this one. Like the previous pregnancy though sad the baby didn't live a life of hell. She wants it still selfishly but doesn't want to fuck up. Plus foster care could be a possibility if she couldn't stay clean when she delivered. Her bf agreed with whatever she chose. However it may not be his and he's even said if it's not his he'd kill it. If the child couldn't stay with them it would have the choice to live with a domestically violent aunt and uncle or violent drug addicted and violent aunt and uncle on her dad's side.
Then there is the fact that it's 20 weeks and she's actually pro-life except with rape incest and life threatening situations and only in the first trimestor. To me I don't agree with late abortion. To me I think it's a person by then. But what else could an individual like that do. Back when she was 13 with her first and she planned an adoption but couldn't leave without her ODS. She wasn't capable of that. She was too cold and weak. Yet I don't think a child should ever be killed because another person is too weak to do the right thing. The procedure doesn't seem pleasant I mean it looks like a normal baby at that time. Looking at an abortion on ultrasound would like infanticide right?