Pls help...my daughter is struggling with not being allowed to c her dad

Lilmissvgal - posted on 07/15/2013 ( 1 mom has responded )

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Hi ladies,
I am totally new to this, but I'm having a really hard time with my 7 year old daughter.
Without going into my whole life story, I have a 7 year old from a previous relationship and am now married with a 3. Year old son.
My daughters biological father is a heroin addict and has been for at least 5 years on and off. I now have sole parental rights to her and have also had to take out an intervention order against him so he can't contact me anymore, as he was making threats about coming to my house, and general harassment.
So my dilemma is...he has had on and off contact with her over the years, but only knows the good about him as I have tried to never say anything bad about him in front of her. In the last 9 months I have had to stop all contact with him as I found out he was heavily using again.
My daughter is now left wondering why she can't see him anymore..and gets upset randomly..especially when she gets told off for doing something wrong or is in trouble. Otherwise she says she misses him sometimes but never gets upset about it.
So I am left wondering if she is playing on this as she knows she gets alot of attention when she mentions her daddy. (I know this sounds bad, as I'm sure it does upset her, but he has never been a constant father figure in her life) I'm so confused and really worried about what to do. She is only 7 and has no ideas what "drugs" are. So how do I explain to her that its not my fault she can't see her daddy, it's only what's best for her :-( I hope this makes sense.
Thanks for listening.

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Lilmissvgal - posted on 07/15/2013

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I have so much guilt over this situation as a mother and only want what's best for her..it worried that she will grow to resent me for keeping her away from him when she's older :-(

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