Post baby body

D - posted on 09/26/2013 ( 3 moms have responded )




How do I get my partner to understand that I'm not happy with my 4th trimester body. He said it shouldn't matter because to him I look fine, but I hate my stretch marks and my soft belly and when I try to lose weight my milk supply starts to dwindle so I stop. He is fed up with my depression from the issue and now we aren't speaking.

*my baby is 9 months now


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[deleted account]

Sorry! I obviously misunderstood. So are you happy with being unhappy with your body?

What is it you are trying to get your partner to do? Do you want to him to tell you that he is just as unhappy with your body as you are? Obviously, he can't do anything to change your body so that you will be happier with it, only you can do that.

It is your body, and your feelings, I don't see what he can do to change either of them. He is saying it shouldn't matter because it doesn't matter to him.
I can understand how he would be fed up with your depression if he can't see what you are doing to fix it or what he can do to help. Tell him exactly what you want him to do. You could also take him to your mental health professional on your next visit and ask him/her to help him figure out what to say to support you. Sometimes husbands get frustrated and fed up when we complain about a problem out of their control because they simply don't know what to say other than "I still love you." or "I can't help you." and no husband wants to say that he can't help his wife.

[deleted account]

There are a few things to remember.
First, you knew going into pregnancy that your body would never be the same as it was before, so you have to accept some amount of change. That said, there is a limit to what you are expected to accept, and I'll address that below.
Second, it took almost a year for your body to create the child you have now, and it is still working on nourishing the child. It will take at least a year to get the weight off and get your muscle tone back. You can't rush it.

If exercise is depleting your milk supply, it is probably best to stick to your healthy diet and do light exercise to maintain a healthy body. Once you are finished breastfeeding, you can move to a more rigorous workout. I had the same issue when my son J was born, so I had to take it easy the first year. This is what I did:
Diet, heaviest on Veggies, then fruit, light on dairy (but not too light, I used that for my fat content for making the milk), VERY light on carbs and meat (meat less than once a week). I ate beans for protein, mostly in soups and chili because I don't really like beans.
Exercise, 20 minute run while pushing J in a running stroller every morning. Basic yoga (I hate yoga, but my options were limited).

After I stopped breastfeeding, I extended my run to 60 minutes 3 times a week, and kept the 20 minute run for the other 4 days. I did a very short strength training routine on weekdays when I took the short run--it was only 15 to 20 minutes. I took a 1 hour cardio class every weekday. This is still my routine, but I lowered the intensity once I reached my goal weight. I change up the cardio classes every few months so that my body does not get accustomed to them. If the body becomes accustomed to a routine, it will learn to conserve energy and thus you will not get the results from the workout that you are looking for. Oh, I dropped yoga, but I still go occasionally if I notice that I am getting stiff.

As for your stretch marks, there are laser treatments to treat those. I was lucky and managed to avoid them, but most of my friends have used the laser treatments and they work really, really well. You can't tell they ever had marks. That said, I don't know if they do them while you are still breastfeeding or not. I would have to ask them when they started. It takes between 3 and 12 sessions, depending on the severity of the marks.

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