post partum depression help please!!!!

Heidi - posted on 01/19/2013 ( 7 moms have responded )

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ihave been having a really hard time lately i quit breastfeeding my baby about a month and half ago due to blood pressure issues that lingered after birth. Every since then i have just notice myself become not myself i feel overwhelmed all the time i have a 3 and a 2 year old at home also and my husband works out of town about 2 weeks ago i hit my melt down! i just started bawling in my kitchen and said i can not do this anymore i was frustrated angry yelling at my kids all the time. And i knew that when i didn't even want to be around my kids or anyone that i loved i knew i needed to talk to someone. I have been having super bad panic anxiety attacks one that put me in the er thinking i was having a heart attack. I have been on anti anxiety medecing for about a week now and lexapro which is a mild anti-depressent for 3 days now! i just feel so alone and i just want to know if anyone has been through this i have these horrible thoughts in my head i hug my kids and i just feel so empty i feel like i am going crazy has anyone else been through this and to this extent! my mom is my best friend in the world and i dont even want to be around her either i also am so jittery i feel like i could run a marathon all day and i cant sleep at night cause that is when the anxiety and bad thoughts are at their worst! i just need to know that this medecine will work and i will get better i just want my kids to have their mommy back! i have also had my grandpa die and while we were at his wake my aunt passed away while my uncle was in surgery for throat and tounge cancer not to find out that his has turned terminal i just feel like the world just keeps crashing down and i need help to get back up. I feel like i am LOOSING my mind! any comments will help please!

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Cecilia - posted on 01/19/2013

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yes you can, i don't have a messenger right now because i do not have the time to use them. You can add me to facebook (Cece Bailey is my name on there) my current profile pic is one with 3 kids in it. Feel free to message me there, i check it throughout the day because it's how i keep inlaws in the loop.

Heidi - posted on 01/19/2013

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thank you so much for you help and i have been seeing a therapists for about 3 days now and it seems to help can i talk to you whenever i have questions?

Cecilia - posted on 01/19/2013

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my fist baby is now 15. by the time he was about a year old or so i realize i had balanced out most of the way. I became very secluded. No one came by my house, i never left the house. My neighbors actually took my son out to play for me, so he could get fresh air.

I felt bad because i would just sleep most of the day and the baby was alone. he didn't cry but he would just lay there. I wanted to love on him but just couldn't bear to do it. It does get better. Make sure you get help. Seek a therapist, they have ones that will come to your house. Mine actually would help me clean up and do dishes because everything was so far behind.

the bad thoughts were towards the baby, loved ones and myself. I was like some demon crawled inside of me and put nasty thoughts and images in my head. I swore i was going crazy.

Heidi - posted on 01/19/2013

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did you seclude yourself from the ones you loved the most? And the bad thoughts was it just towards your baby or other loved ones?

Heidi - posted on 01/19/2013

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How are you feelling now? I just want to know that i wont have to be on meds forever and it like a rollercoaster ride so far for a brief second i feel good then it just hits me again like i take a step forward and 10 steps back thanks for talking to me it feels good to know i am not alone!

Heidi - posted on 01/19/2013

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did you seclude yourself from the ones you loved the most? And the bad thoughts was it just towards your baby or other loved ones?

Cecilia - posted on 01/19/2013

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Believe me you are not alone. With my first child I had PPD so bad that me and my doctor choose to start medication in my 3rd trimester ( yes i know it has risk, but so does an absent mother)

I had the horrible thoughts too. they bothered me so bad that i didn't tell anyone about my thoughts for years. I thought it made me a bad person to think up such things about a baby i loved so much.

Sleep was defiantly an issue for me also. At one point i went 8 days with no more than about an hour of sleep a day. they put me on remeron for sleep. It helped so much!!!

Keep your head up, your hormones will balance back out and you will feel better.

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