Potty training HELP ME PLEASE!!!!!!

Ashley - posted on 10/07/2009 ( 30 moms have responded )

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OK my daughter turned 3 on the 27th of Sept. For the last week or so she has been poopong in her pants and peeing too. She knows what she is doing because she does do on the the potty sometimes. I dont want to feel like I'm rushing her but sometimes I think she does it bc she knows it makes me and daddy mad. Help Please. Any advice???

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Tammy - posted on 10/08/2009

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I am currently toilet training my almost 3 year old. He has his times of the day that he goes to the toilet and others when he doesn't. I find reminding him consistently every 15 minutes or so is helping.



With both my children I used/use the potty chart where they get to put a star sticker on the chart when they go to the toilet. We have a picture of something that they really want and as a reward for all their hardwork when we have succesfully toilet trained they are rewarded with that gift.

Edyta - posted on 10/08/2009

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My son was three and a half when he himself decided that he is ready. Try not to push her and dont react to her going in her pants, One day she will just go. GOOD LUCK

Lisandra - posted on 10/08/2009

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hi ashley, what you could try is giving her a reward for everytime she does it in her potty.

Lauren - posted on 10/07/2009

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Hi Ashley! The first thing I can tell you is since your daughter understands it makes you and her upset, the next time you take her to potty, show no emotion if she has already done it on herself. The second thing is, she may understand what going to the potty is but she may not be entirely ready. I have a 3 year old also. I tried to potty train him at 2; he was okay for a while but would slip up more often then not. I tried again at 3 and he wasn't quite there. The third thing is consistency. If you have her on a schedule of when to go (after meals, when she first wakes up) it becomes routine for her. You have to remain consistent and take her at those times. The last thing is rewarding, when she potties on the pot, clap for her, kiss her and that stuff. You see her want to go more and more because she'll want your approval. Trust me it works!

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User - posted on 11/15/2011

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Have you done any of the following: 1. read books aboout big girls (potty books) 2. did potty dances and sing and make a big thing about it when she go on the toilet? 3. just put underwear on her - does the feeling bother her when she goes in her pants? I think they do go when they are ready but it still must be hard on you.

Heather - posted on 10/18/2009

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Hi Ashley. I had the same problem with my first girl. Her father and I both got so upset b/c she knew what she was doing, but yet still did it. I talked to her doctor about it at one of her check ups and he told me to just let her go, it will happen when she's ready. Now that was VERY frustrating for me, as she was almost 4 years old. Funny thing is, as soon as I acted like it was no big deal........SHE DID IT!! I couldn't believe it. I also tried this approach for my second daughter, and it worked. She was potty trained by 3. All kids are different. Don't sweat the small stuff. Just enjoy her, and she'll do it when she's ready. Hope this helps. :)

Faith - posted on 10/18/2009

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This may sound a little "gross", but it really worked for our youngest one. Purchase cloth training pants first (pull ups are just like diapers, they feel the same and look the same, so why make a change) secondly, when she messes in her pants, she is responsible for cleaning them. We got M to wash out her undies in the toilet, the cold water was not pleasant and the task was even less pleasant. But while sitting with her making her clean them and calmly and kindly reinforcing that messing in ones panties is really yucky and no fun to clean, she stopped messing her pants within one week. Of course wash hands thouroghly after each task is complete.

Tabatha - posted on 10/18/2009

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well have u tried to take her to the potty? i got a grandbaby we fixing to potty break also mine will bring me a diaper and lay down for me and also when she filled them she will take it off. so if i was you i would try with the potty thing never to young to start if they show signs.

Jamie - posted on 10/18/2009

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Get here her own potty if she doesnt have one,then let her see you go to the potty.Take her with you.If she has a older sister in the house let her go with her.The more praise that you give her she will see its a big girl thing to do.I have a two year old daughter and it took her awhile but when she saw everyone else doing it it made her want to go.

Simone - posted on 10/18/2009

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My husband and I went to the dollar store and bought $20.00 worth of "potty prizes". Every time our son went on the toilet, he would pick a "potty prize" out of the bag. Of course if he went in his pants, no prize for him!! He was potty trained in 3 days.



With our send son, we did the same "potty prizes" but as all children are different did go as well. So resorted to "potty lollypops"!!! Worked like a charm as K2 likes sugar better than toys. We also did the potty dance and sang the poop poop in the potty song too (just make it up). K2 was completely potty trained in one week!! Bribery is the key!!!

User - posted on 10/16/2009

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My babysitter started giving the kids a piece of candy everytime someone pottys in the potty. So if one kid potties in the potty everyone gets a piece of candy. Which has worked out great until your child is potty trained and still expects candy everytime they go potty. We had to threaton to take preschool away if our daughter didn't quit pottying at school. That worked wonders. She hasn't pottied at school since.

Saroné - posted on 10/16/2009

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Hi, Ashley. Do you remind her to use the toilet when she starts pinching (or any other tell-tale sign of a need for the toilet), or make a point of reminding her to go to the toilet at about 20-40 min after meals? Is she scared of the gaping hole of the toilet (potty) or do you have a baby seat? Put a flower in the potty for her to wet or cover with...Do you make as little fuss about a mishap as possible and as great a fuss as possible when she does it on the potty? Another method could be to let her wash her pants after a mishap. Do you allow her to fetch her own clean pants and put them on by herself?



Hope these help.

Ciara - posted on 10/11/2009

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Stick with it and don't give in. It is so worth it in the end. It took 3 weeks of literally skating in it before we had success. All in all day time potty training took 2 months. Just bear with her and have lots of pants at the ready.

Terrestia - posted on 10/10/2009

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Children are not fully developed until the age of six to be potty trained. My daughter is five and sometimes pees in her pants. Their muscles are not fully developed until six, so yes she and you both may understand what she is doing. It may not be that she is lazy or changed her mind about the potty. Just that she is not fully developed. It is not the child that is potty trained at an early age. It is the parent who has trained themselves to see the signs.

Marie - posted on 10/09/2009

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We had a really hard with my son, we started about 2 1/2. How i got the best results is i bought one of those plain trainer potties from Wal-Mart.. Nothing fancy with characters or music, and then a bunch of stickers of things he liked. Every time he went pee on the potty, he got to decorate it with one of the smaller stickers, and poopie was a big one, or 2 stickers. It only took about 2 months and he could not wait to use the potty!! Good luck!

Linda - posted on 10/09/2009

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I had the same problem. I think again, it is being patient and not making a big deal about it. He will eventually not want to be uncomfortable all on his own. But I did keep my son naked for a long time, and it seemed like one day he got it. Good luck!

Brandi - posted on 10/09/2009

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Hello my daughter is 2 and is almostpotty trained. I put her on thepot in the morining when she wakes up after she eat breakfast, after lunch, before and after nap time, and before and after dinner and before bed. Have a routine and just try to stick to it. I live in DC and my baby can go to Pre-K 3 next yr and they will NOT take her if she is not potty trained and when she does go potty ireward her and we sing and dance. And I have also put her in pull-up which we call panties when we are out in the streets and I let her walk around the house sometime bottomless or in training panties. I hope this helps. GOOD LUCK!

Verona - posted on 10/09/2009

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My son is 3 he refused to use the potty he would poo & wee on the floor when my back was turned it drove me crazy, i decided to buy him a toddler toilet seat it did the job. try not to get up set with her children love to be praised.

Christine Moede - posted on 10/09/2009

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For both my DCs, I had to bite the bullet, throw away the pull-ups, keep them in the kitchen ALL DAY where accidents were easy to clean (I know, PITA), have them "half-nekky" (no pants or underpants--it really does make a huge difference. Kids hate the feeling of pee or poo on their legs and will run to the potty), and put the timer on for 45 minutes and put them on the potty every time it rang. It took about 3 days of hard-core "potty bootcamp" for them to realize mommy wasn't kidding and they really did have to use the potty. Also, expect a couple of major regressions. A few times I felt like giving up and sending them across the stage at high school graduation in Depends, but then I realized they were just testing me to see if I would back down, and I didn't. After a few days, they went back to no accidents. Good luck. I know how much potty training sucks!

Monica - posted on 10/09/2009

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well i would take her to the potty every 2 or 3 hours and when she goes in the potty praise her, but when she goes in her pants tell her that she needs to go in the potty like the big kids do and if she wants to go to school like the big kids she has to go potty only in the potty.walmart has small potty's for little ones try that as well

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I used a reward...1 M&M for going pee and 2 M&Ms for going poo. In the beginning, reward everytime she goes, then as time goes on, give every other time, etc. Could also use stickers the same way, then maybe give a big incentive like when she gets 10 or 20 stickers, she can get a little extra treat, whether it be a small toy or a special ice cream treat, whatever she really likes. We also went to sesamestreet.com and they have a little skit with Elmo where he teaches kids that "if they have the feeling, to stop whatever they're doing and go". That really worked with my daughter. She still uses that phrase with us sometimes and she's been trained for 2 years (she's 4). But you have to be persistent in asking her, but not force her. Oh and we also got in the habit of saying bye bye and waving to her pee or poo. It all worked. Best of luck!!

Claudia - posted on 10/09/2009

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I have 3 kids and my oldest was potty trained 2 1/2 my second one 1 and 10 months and the baby 18 months....It might sounds crazy to you but it worked for me....When I knew the understood the concept very well and didn't want to do it in th toilet just because,,,I took their clothes off and gave them a 1 minute cold shower....they hated it ...I did it a couple of times...enough for them to know I wasn't playing about it...I hope you get the courage to do it...good luck

Lisa - posted on 10/09/2009

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I found she loved to flush the toilet 1 flush for pees and 2 flushes for poos. And clapping and been really excited made her want to go. Then if you don't have any rewards your not putting yourself in a situation of a new tantrum coming on. If they were outside {own Yard} she could run around with no knickers on and she was only aloud to pee in the garden with the plants, no poos. and not making a fuss about it, even ignore them so they want to use the toilet. [I used this on because she couldn't make it upstairs to the loo.] Good Luck every child is different but don't force them because they do go backwards. And telling them that they made you HAPPY by using the toilet. Makes them want to impress you more. Lots of hi 5's kiss and hugs they love it.

Cecile - posted on 10/09/2009

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She needs to understand she is responsible for it. Not you or her dad.
When she does it wrong, just pretend you are a bit deceived but that you know she'll get there. Don't be mad and never tell anybody about it in front of her.
When she does it right, make her proud. Well done, girl!
Those moments where they change are sometimes scary for them. Maybe she doesn't want to be a big girl and stay mom's baby?
Don't make it a big event or a huge leap and DON'T listen to friends who will proudly show their 1,5 year old is already trained. Every kid has his own rythm and there's nothing retarded or advanced in that.
Go your own calm way. She's just a small click from it. She'll get there.
I wouldn't reward her with a physical present, the fact that mommy's proud is still the best present she can get.
Wouldn't you prefer getting a compliment from your mom than a chocolate bar?

Hayley - posted on 10/09/2009

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MY SON IS NEARLY 3 AND CURRENTLY POTTY TRAING. WITH NO PANTS ON HE DOES WEES AND POOS ON THE POTTY OR TOILET ALL BY HIMSELF I NEED NOT ENCOURAGE HIM TO GO. BUT AS SOON AS I ADD PANTS AND TROUSERS HE JUST DOES'NT BOTHER. I CAN'T LEAVE HIM HALF NAKED FOREVER LOL ANY IDEAS?

Shadan - posted on 10/09/2009

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My daughter is now 5 1/2, but when we had our second baby, she regressed for one week w/number one at 3 1/2. Has there been any change in your life, and this might be her way to seek more attention.

One thing that always worked for my daughter was a treat, a Hersey's kisses after her #2. She would hold it, b/c she knew that she needed to use the potty. I bought her favorite potty cover (Dora), and then she wanted to sit on the potty. With number 1, I always had to remind her every 2 hours, kids are not interested in taking a break from their play for a potty break. Now I'm just beginning to potty-training, I can see that he is going to be awhile before he is potty trained. I'm trying not to put so much pressure on him.

Raana - posted on 10/09/2009

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We had a very hard time with my son who turned 3 in August but we got there. I ordered potty books to read with him. He enjoyed where's my potty and Once upon a potty (boys but there is a girl version.) We also got the Bear in the Big Blue House DVD. I kept asking him if he wanted to use the potty or toilet but didn't push him. He would say no thanks and I would say maybe next time. Then we started a sticker chart. He would get a treat after every 3 attempts. At first he would sit on the potty with his pants on and pee and poo. We wnet through lots of pants that first day and the second day I convinced him to take his pants off. I had to take a potty everywhere with us because he was scared of the toilet (flushing and hand dryers scare him.) A couple days later he wanted to dump the pee into the toilet and flush it. A day later he started using a toilet. Oh I also bought a toy he really wanted before we started and told him he could have it once he started using the potty. We had lots of trials before but I think it required my full attention and determination to train him.

Jennifer - posted on 10/08/2009

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What had worked with my daughter was having her go on potty then setting a timer for 30 minutes. When the timer goes off, potty time. It may take a few days, but it may help her. Unfortunatly, during that time of training her, it's staying at home so that the timer can be used.

Kay - posted on 10/08/2009

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Ashley,,,try not to get mad at her, children can often regress for periods of time, for various reasons...is there anything different thats going on at home that has been disruptive to her schedule? when she has an accident, tell her its ok, we all make mistakes, clean it up quickly and quitely, if she see's it doesnt get a rise out of you, it will stop soon enough, and of course, lots of kisses and hugs when she does go on the potty

Amber - posted on 10/08/2009

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Try rewarding her, but don't think that a reward is only candy or stickers. When I potty trained my son, he loved to brush his teeth. After he went in the potty, he got to flush, wash, and brush his teeth all by himself. Not only was he going in the potty, but he was getting his oral hygiene down, too. Maybe try a potty chart so she gets a sticker on it every time she goes so she can "see" the improvement. Incourage her with big girl undies, songs, whatever floats her boat. Sometimes they will take one step forward and two steps back, but eventually, she'll wake up (yes, it's that sudden) and start going in the potty every time. Bring it up to her doctor next regularly scheduled visit. This could just be a child not training on schedule, but don't underestimate an underlying problem that could (very unlikely) be causing this.

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