potty training issues...what am I doing wrong?

Angel - posted on 11/14/2011 ( 5 moms have responded )

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My son has been in underwear for about 2.5 weeks and has been dry at daycare all but the first 2 days which each day he had 1 accident. AMAZING!!!
The problem is at home. My husband and I cannot seem to get him to have a dry day or even evening (after daycare) for the life of us. He has went poop on the potty once, but refuses to do it again. My husband saw him start to go put him on the potty and he refused to go... the second he got off the potty he went in his underwear...
I am seriously starting to think we have done something wrong. He obviously knows when he has to go because he goes without being asked at daycare but WON'T DO IT AT HOME even with being asked...
I feel like such a failure and I have cried several times because of this issue. I don't know what to do....

5 Comments

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Erin - posted on 11/22/2011

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Bribes usually work great, make sure he has enough time on the potty, I don't know how old he is but my son is 17 months and he needs to sit there a good 2 min before anything will happen (shy bladder?). If he doesn't want to stay on his seat does he have books or a special toy he only gets to play with at potty time? Even a cup of juice or special treat to get him to stay there for a few minutes might work. With my daughter gummy bears and stickers worked be she was pretty easy I must admit.

Neva - posted on 11/22/2011

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How old is your son? It sounds to me as if he is acting perfectly normal. Think about it. Home is a safe place. He has been going potty in his pants at home since he was a baby. When we come home from work or school we just want to relax and not worry about anything. Children are the same. He is not as comfortable at daycare, he knows what they expect, and what is expected from other children, so he does it there. Then he comes home and doesn't want to be bothered. Does he go poop at daycare or is he holding that until he gets home? A lot of children will hold their stool because that feels more like a part of their body than urine does. If he is holding his poop, he might have had a painful experience the first time he went on the potty. This equates in his mind to "the potty makes pooping painful and going in my pants does not." I would continue to watch for the signs that he has to go and put him on the potty whenever it appears he has to go. Make sure he drinks plenty of fluids during the day, eats fruits and vegetables so that he has a soft poop. Then when he does go, really do the potty dance, and give a reward. There is nothing wrong with a few M&M's after a success. Once he is fully trained, he'll forget about the M&M's. Give one or two for pee and 3-4 for poops. Don't be too hard on yourself, or him either. He'll catch on.

Angel - posted on 11/21/2011

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Daycare does nothing. Doesn't ask him he just goes, they don't give him anything...

We do give him some kind of a treat he gets to pick whether it is candy or if it is a sticker... I just don't know

Amanda - posted on 11/14/2011

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Find out what potties your daycare is using, and ask them what else they are doing to help your son potty.

Mindy - posted on 11/14/2011

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Have you asked the daycare if they give him anything for when he goes such as stickers? I tried m&m's with my daughter and that worked out great but some moms don't want to give candy to their children as a bribe and that's totally ok stickers is a good alternative. You don't need to cry he will eventually go to the potty on his own. I have a son too and he is 2 and will sometimes go in the potty but would rather open the back door and go outside.....tried the stickers and the m&ms with him too and didn't work but all of sudden he has been going potty more and more. So I wouldn't be too upset :) I hope that makes you feel better.

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