Potty training my twins and they keep peeing on the floor - desperate for suggestions!

Tracy - posted on 04/19/2013 ( 29 moms have responded )

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My twin girls are almost 3 1/2 years old and still not potty trained. One is very interested in the potty, watching me go and even sitting on it, but she has yet to go on it. The other has no interest at all.

We literally just started potty training a few hours ago. I initially put them in panties. One hates to wear the panties (even though they are cute character panties) and so we decided to just let them go naked. They have both peed on the floor numerous times each. It was EVERYWHERE!!! And they were just walking through it and walking around like they could care less. They would sit on the potty (because they want the Skittles I'm using as a reward) but then after awhile they get bored and will be away from the potty for like 10 seconds and pee without a facial expression or mention of it. Not sure what to do. How can I get them to understand that they need to use the potty instead of peeing on the floor when peeing on the floor doesn't bother them? Wet panties doesn't seem to bother either one either. By doing this the whole weekend will they eventually figure it out?

I've read and heard from other moms to either go directly into panties or completely naked so they will figure it out right away, but mine don't seem to care. I was doing the "wait until they are ready" approach but at 3.5 years I think they should be ready by now. They have to be ready to be in the 3s preschool class come Fall, and they need to be potty trained for the summer camp I have them signed up for in July.

Sigh...it's going to be a LONG and WET weekend! Any and all suggestions would be helpful because I'm kind of at a loss. This is one situation where I wish we had family close by so I could send one away for a weekend and focus on only one at a time.

Thanks!
Tracy

MOST HELPFUL POSTS

Megan - posted on 07/31/2014

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I'm potty training my 2 year old twins right now; they'll be three in a few weeks. To everyone who is saying waiting til three is lazy.. go suck on some tits. WHY are mothers SO judgmental on other mothers? To the people who do the hardest job, and need the MOST support. Guess what-- I have twins and it IS a nightmare to potty train. I'm a single mother, with NO help or support. Work full time, and go to school full time. I'm lazy too. RIGHT? I've been trying to potty train for about six months, and my kids haven't been ready til now. Good for you all you people who have your kids potty trained by age two. Thats great, really. But lets act like adults here and be supportive. So please "adults" who are just her to put others down. Grow up. You don't ever know the whole story.

Reta - posted on 04/23/2013

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What is the problem with so many young mothers now waiting to potty train the children at 3 and 3 1/2 years old. That is just gross and lazy letting them crap in their diapers at that age and what do you expect, you have done nothing until now to train them but expect them to be potty train right away. It doesn't happen overnight and unless your children have a mental problem they are old enough to understand. Children that age should have a very large vocabulary. I had 3 children and they were all potty trained by the time they turned two and I did that by taking them to the potty chair many times a day and praising them when they did potty and it didn't happen in one or one week.

Minet - posted on 04/25/2013

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Here is the way I trained both of my children (one boy, one girl, not twins). First, you have to commit to not leaving the house for an entire week. As long as you're buckled down and you're in the right frame of mind, this will work. It will be hard but totally worth it in the end. Also, if you only have one, I would get a second potty so they can go at the same time.

I let my kids run around naked in order to train them to "pee on command". Keep them drinking all day and turn on a timer for 30 minutes. Every 30 minutes put them on the potty until they go. I made it exciting by letting them have books while they were on the potty. The skittles are a good reward but they don't get one unless there's pee in the potty. At 3 1/2 they get that they don't get a reward for nothing. After they get off the potty, give them more liquid. Keep this cycle going all day. The reason this works is because they are being trained to feel the sensation of having to pee in a controlled setting. You may still have some accidents on the floor but I bet it will be less or completely gone after day 1. My kids were trained to feel the sensation within three days. Once that is done, put panties on and keep up the training. By the end of the week, they will know when they have to go. Just because they know the sensation, it doesn't mean they will tell you so you will still have to ask them constantly but you will have cleared the biggest hurdle.

If they are waking up dry in the morning that's a good indication they are ready to be potty trained. If they wake up with wet diapers, their bladders may not be strong and big enough. To keep them dry at night, cut off the liquids at least an hour before bedtime and put them on the potty 30 minutes after their last drink.

Good luck and keep charging ahead. This will not go on forever :-)

Lisa - posted on 04/28/2013

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There are some good ideas that people have posted. The most important thing to worry about is, are they really ready. They should be by now and if they are not, then there may be something physically wrong. My suggestion would be to try to do one at a time and see how that goes. Pick the one that is mostly likely to want to use the potty. Sibling riviralry is the best thing here. If one goes the other will most likely follow not wanting to be left out.
I don't agree with people saying you should make them clean up the mess after they pee or poop on the floor. That is shaming behavior and that will only make it worse. If you make them feel ashamed themselves, then they will always remember that and possibly have problems later, like holding it all day. I work with a child that will hold it as long as he can because his parent's shamed him about accidents. He gets really bad UTI's. He used to get spanked starting at age 2 when he had an accident. He is scared to go even in the potty at age 4 because of it. His parents even say it may not of been the best course of action but it is too late now.
I had some problems with my daughter but in her case she was just being plain stubborn. I started with her at 2 along with our sitter's daughter who was the same age (they were born a day apart). Our sitter was great, she put them on at the same time (about every 30 minutes). Her daughter caught on in a week and so did mine. But my daughter still had lots of accidents and after paying a carpet cleaning bill for my sitter we went to pull ups for a few months until she stopped peeing herself. She would tell either our sitter or us when at home that she had to go and then on the way to the bathroom, she would pee or poop in her pull up. We tried stickers, treats everything. Nothing worked. Suddenly one day about 3/4 months (summer) she decided she had, had enough of wet, messy diapers and that was that. She was 2 1/2. Since then we have had no issues and that was 2 1/2 years ago.
It is hard to get them there. It was hard enough with one but I can't imagine 2 at the same time. You just have to keep at it. If you are lucky enough to be at home with them all day, then that should be even more helpful.
I wish you the best of luck with your girls.

Jeanie - posted on 04/23/2013

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I waited to start my son until he was 3, as for waiting until he was ready, that's the advise we are given by so many people. We have gone through ups and downs in the past year. But it took about a month before he really got it. What you might try is have the one who is interested "teach" the other one. Then one feels special because she gets it and the other has some peer pressure to succeed. That is what got my son to train, his little sister wanted to use the potty. He had to teach her, and there was the pressure (I think, and not from us) to not let his little sister be better at the potty than he was.

29 Comments

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Ev - posted on 03/28/2017

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Mia--this post is way too old. Laziness does have a lot to do with parenting. If you do not do your job as a parent then the kids will just follow the example. Also there is no such thing as a perfect parent and all parents make mistakes. As far as potty training goes....not all kids are ready at the age of two or younger to potty train. Most doctors will tell you to let the child let you know when they are ready and that could be three years of age too. Most children have not totally developed the ability to hold for too long before having to pee or even poop and that is because their organs have not fully developed either.

Mialong25 - posted on 03/28/2017

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Laziness has nothing to do with it perfect parents. Just because you were. Successful doing something doesn't mean you have a right to put others Down.

Melynda - posted on 05/01/2013

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Accidents happen but if it happens too often then I would begin enforcing there own clean up of their accidents. My children are held responsible for their messes accidents or not.
My eldest son was far too busy to stop what he was doing to use the potty. I would clean him up and let him go about his day then i stopped doing the cleaning, made him clean him self with no help from me. He no longer has this issue cuz cleaning poop and pee is yucky . Good luck mommy! Just remember this is just a phase, they wont go off to collage in diapers.

User - posted on 04/26/2013

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I put mine on the potty every two hours, for a few minutes. Prior to leaving the house, they knew they'd be going to the potty, whether they felt like it or not. After a while, they'd catch themselves going in the potty, and it became more routine. I don't know where the new theories came into play about waiting until a child is interested. My oldest grand child wasn't interested until the age of four, and that's just gross. That amount of poop in a public place. Unheard of in my generation, and no, I don't tolerate people telling me I abused my kids. They weren't abused, just potty trained. Talk to old women in my mother's generation, and boy, you'll hear some real zingers about potty training! Sometimes it helped my daughter if she had to poo but couldn't quite get it out to put warm water in the potty bowl. Then she'd relax her muscles and let go. Not a punishment, and not for more than maybe 3 minutes, but it helped.

Joanna - posted on 04/26/2013

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Unfortunately kids will not use the potty or toilet until ready. It cant be forced on them.

Michelle - posted on 04/25/2013

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First of all you can't make it feel like a punishment. Put them on panties and take them every couple of hours but only for about 5min at a time. If they don't go it's okay. Just try again a in a couple of hours. It want hapn overly night but within a week. My lil girl learn in one day at daycare. The didn't use pull ups only panties. She came home dry that first day and NEVER wet her close again and she was 2. But the candy is good. But u can't give it to them if they do nothing just because they give u the cute face. Let the wet panties stay on for 20 mins and it would start to bother them. If this don't work you need to make sure they don't have bladder problems because 3.5 is too old to not be potty trained. Most Pre-k don't take kids not potty trained either. Good luck

Taryn - posted on 04/25/2013

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have you made them clean up their mess?... it's sometimes a nice way of making them realise that pee isn't to go on the floor. Clean it up with toilet paper and get them to flush it down the toilet whilst saying "that's where pee goes"...
Peer pressure was the turning point for my son who was totally uninterested until his bestie from Childcare was suddenly in undies and using the big toilet.
They'll get it in their own time, don't stress out ok :)

Katrin - posted on 04/25/2013

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I hope you are having more luck now, but if not I think one of the problems sounds like they a) don't realize they are going pee, and therefore b) can't identify before they need to go or make themselves go while on the potty. We also did the naked method like you are trying and for us we brought the little potty with us into what ever room we were in and left it there, and I watched like a hawk until they started peeing. Then in mid stream (I know, gross, but I only had to do it once or twice) I picked them up and ran them to the potty and set them on it. Either you will shock them into stopping by picking them up wait a few minutes and ask them if they have any more pee that needs to come out or they kept going while running and perhaps a little went in the potty at the end. If ANY pee goes in the potty (even like 2 drops) throw a party. "Wow, you are such a big girl, you went pee in the potty" clap hands jump up and down, whatever it takes. I think this helps them actually feel when they are peeing, and put it together that they need to get to the potty to do it. At 3.5 they probably wait a long time between going, so you have to be super vigilant. I would perhaps leave one in diapers while you watch the other (maybe start with the one that has shown interest). After 1 or 2 days the first should get it and you can start with the other. So perhaps one weekend for one and one weekend for the next one.

Ursula - posted on 04/25/2013

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My first child was potty trained on her first day at 18 months but she just took to it. I went on her potty, put it down the loo, rinsed it out and said now lets see if you can be a clever girl. My subsequent children were all different. I have read story books to a child on the potty and then asked them if they can manage to do me a present. That worked quite well a lot of the time. Regulate the drinks, have them at a table or a coffee table. Do not let them help themselves, it is drink time and anything not drunk after 5 or 10 minutes gets put away from the child. Then think about when your child will go - say 5-10 minutes after that, sit them on the potty and read a book. With twins you can try get one child at a time to be successful and then keep praising the child without seeming to be making a point with the other one. The other one WILL get it. Then you can say you have two clever girls.
I was so impressed with my first child that I used to clap my hands for her and say you are such a clever good girl. Try to be delighted and impressed when they do it. After less than a year my child said with a most dignified voice, 'Mummy Dont clap.' I really laughed. It was not all plain sailing because she forgot to remove her pants so would sit on the potty with them on as she was in a bit of a hurry. Another thing that we did was I would go to the toilet at the same time, my child on the little potty and me on the big one or if we were out I would ask her if she needed to go first or if I could and then make her sit even if she did not want to go, just in case and being out we may not have a chance later. If you drink a lot at the same time your children do, it can help you to remember their potty needs. People say that cloth nappies make a child FEEL wet and so children can learn a lot more quickly if they feel uncomfortable when they go. I do not suggest making them really sore or being cruel -just to let them feel wet and uncomfortable for half an hour before they are changed. The natural consequence of wetting oneself should be felt. With the other kind leave them for for half of that time. Talk to them in a friendly explaining way. As you change them Yeugh This is not very nice is it, (say it sympathetically, it is not nice for them). If you can remember, tell mummy so we can do it on the potty next time so then you can be all clean. Mummy likes you to go on the potty because nappies are all yukky. Calm the children down so that they are not running wild after their drinks and before potty time. We used to sing or do rhymes and look at picture books a lot but puzzles or drawing or sending their teddy / dolly to sleep, anything fairy calming will do. Have a little walk or a time together in the garden. After our drink and our wee wees, we are going outside, then they HAVE to go or keep staying in! It is important not to have a lot of stuff going on or phones and doors to answer when one is potty training. One person on their own can manage training without help from another parent but with two children at the same time, some help may be appreciated. If there is a mishap say 'Oh dear, but never mind we can do it on the potty Next time'.
It is not all down to you, I really had it lucky with my first who also had me astonished at how quickly she tied up her shoelaces, just like that after the first time I showed her. Subsequent children had me working much harder at potty training. You and the children have to work at it as a team with your words, actions & attitude being helpful with their motivation. All best Tracy, God bless.

Bethane - posted on 04/25/2013

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At that age they understand basic logic.... put them back in diapers - the cheapest most uncomfortable ones you can get, but explain that diapers are for babies - all the pics on the packages are babies. Show them that next time you have then in a store. Finally say that if that want to be babies then they can't do big girl things like play with dolls and eat skittles. Remove all toys except the ones approved for children under 3, and that away all treats that you wouldn't give to a baby. They will grow tired of being treated like babies very quickly and decide that the potty is a much easier solution.

Bethane

Alicia - posted on 04/24/2013

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when i started potty training my older girls i ended up with two potties. one that i kept in the living room or outside so it was accessible at all times. if our activities were moving so did the potty. and maybe skittles arent what their into. what i did with my oldest was stickers that was what she was into so if she went peepee then she got a small sticker but if there was poos then woah she got a big sticker. with my second who is now potty training she wants potty treats so if she goes pee she get two jelly beans but if she goes poo she gets 4 m&m's. also if your not comfortable with them peeing on the floor like me i remind my second regularly not to pee on the floor. i do actually say to her 'enya dont pee on mommys floor where does the pee need to go' and she tells me 'the potty mommy' and then i'll say lets go try i think you need to go. if you want to start them right in undies then let them pick out special underwear and tell them not to go pee in their special underwear. another thing i did was after mine went on the potty they got to call someone now i understand that if daddys at work then they cant call him but a grandparent or special relative or friend perhaps that always got a kick out my kids that someone else was praising them besides mommy and daddy when he gets home from work. those are what worked for me. also (some people dont recommend it but i did and it helped) you can let them pick out special bathroom books maybe some new ones or different ones every day and those books are only read while sitting on the potty. you can get potty books the one that i had came with a crown and stickers and it was about a princess. but eventually it will click and they'll go dont lose faith. they'll get there. another thing i did with my oldest cause she was getting ready to start school i told her that she cant go to school unless she can go on the potty herself and that seemed to help her cause she really wanted to go to school

hope this helps

Shannon - posted on 04/24/2013

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My daughter did this for about 3 weeks... except she was right in front of the potty all the times. She thought that she should be able to pee like her big brother and daddy... and gets mad she has to sit on the potty. Even if they don't like them panties help catch the messes and make for an easier time to clean up. I actually trained mine like the way I was taught to train a puppy. on the potty every hour and 5 minutes after having anything to drink with a treat every time they go (not every time they try). Good luck! I hope they catch on quick!

Rocky - posted on 04/23/2013

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We used Potty Train Your Child in a Day. Worked really well for our youngest boy - 2 yo at the time we trained him.

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You can't use pull-ups there diapers. It has to be your world your life. Every 15 on the potty. If they mess they clean. All Potties should be easy to access. I have boys so some potties they really dislike.

Every 15 minutes we used the potty he got a sticker for his paper that was it. There is no reward in going. I had potties in the back of the jeep we stopped he tried. We left he tried. No matter what he was on the potty.

Waiting till there ready will never work. You have to teach them. I know lots of kids who still are not trained and it is there parents fault, there is nothing wrong with these kids just lack of education.

Vicki - posted on 04/23/2013

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I suggest having them clean up the messes they make and no treats unless they go in the potty. Or at least they get treats when they go sit on potty on their own. Potty training is the one thing I hated about motherhood--it's messy, smelly and tough. My parents started with me as soon as I could walk and I trained very early. My special-needs child trained completely by the time she was 6 and I started as soon as she could dress herself. Each child has their own timeline. Let them know they can't go to day camp or pre-school until they can be big girls and go potty on their own. I'm against them going bare but all for them having clothes that fit loosely enough for easy removal. Best wishes to you and your girls!

Joanne - posted on 04/23/2013

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Try taken them when u go also make them clean up after themselves. Also clap and praise them run water to help them pee. For boo usually they will sqat in a corner and get quiet pray for patience you gonna need it.

User - posted on 04/23/2013

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Maybe try setting a timer, and whenever it goes off, it's time to sit on the potty for 5 minutes or until they go- whichever comes first.
With my son, I usually just nonchalantly carry him in the bathroom when I think it's time. Making sure to have conversation going about something else, and put him on the potty. Then he goes. He is almost completely potty trained now, but he will still wet his pants and not tell me or care if I don't make sure he uses the potty several times a day. We have been training for 6 months. He just turned three.

Faye - posted on 04/23/2013

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Have them clean up the mess! Hand them a roll of paper towels and a trash can. Show them the first time and let them do it after that. Afterwards (end of the day when they are asleep) go over the floor with your normal floor cleaner (Pinesol, Mr Clean).

If it is on the carpet, they will have to pat at the spot until it is almost dry (will take a while). Again after they are in bed, use your shampooer).

Another trick I used with my youngest was to set a timer. It acts like an independent reminder and you are not the one nagging them. Set it for 15 minutes, only after success of two days at 15 minute intervals, do you move it to either 20 or 30 minutes. Again after being successful for two days do you move the timer to 45 minutes. My son was too busy playing to realize his body was giving him signals. About the time I was ready to move the timer to 45 minutes, he told me "Mommy don't set it again, I got this" I laughed, set it anyway and noticed that at about 35 minutes, he went the potty on his own. I did stop the timer while he was in the bath as I figured he had it figured out.

Cheri - posted on 04/22/2013

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Potty training twins is a nightmare! I started my girls at close to three and honestly I don't think they were ready. They are now 4 and still wet the bed every other night. I also used the treat approach and they seemed to really respond to getting the m&m, especially if one was successful and the other wasn't. My doctor told me that twins can sometimes be a little delayed as their bladders and other organs may be smaller or need longer to catch up. All I know is one week it will just click and they'll get it. You could try putting potty chairs in the living area or family room as well.

Farina - posted on 04/22/2013

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Tracy- I empathize with you completely.
My son is turning 3 this week and he simply
doesn't want to go to pee at all.
Recently I tried singing poems with him when I take him there,
which has made life easier.
If possible try spending a day with your kids in a park
or local play area. They might not like to pee
in front of so many people and you could take then
to the loo there.
All the best dear- it gets better, just hang in there.

Michelle - posted on 04/20/2013

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They aren't got to "get it" straight away. I think you are expecting far too much all at once. When potty training you have to expect the wet floors, it happens with all of them. Unfortunately it sounds like they aren't ready and all that's happening is you getting angry and frustrated. Potty training shouldn't be stressful.

Maybe give it another week and try again. They will get it when they are ready and if you push too soon then you are just setting yourself up for it taking longer and having setbacks.

Tracy - posted on 04/19/2013

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I'm nearly in tears right now and so unbelievably aggravated. I walked away from one of my girls for a few seconds and when I looked back at her she was squatting on the floor PLAYING with her new pee puddle she just created. I nearly lost it and had to walk away. I'm about 5 minutes away from trying to find someone I can hire to help me potty train.

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