Potty Training the Stubborn Toddler

[deleted account] ( 16 moms have responded )

My daughter will soon be 3, and she has got to be the most stubborn toddler ever. She simply has her own mind about everything, and although she doesn't always get her way - we do have rules, and we do discipline her in accordance with them - she has definitely got our number when it comes to pottying. On day care days, she can stay dry all day from breakfast to bedtime. But when she is at home all day, she just does not have any interest in sticking to the same potty regimen as she follows at school. Further, she has only once (and this was last week) done her BM in the potty; she did this unprompted during a bath while I was talking on the phone nearby. I have tried putting her in cotton/vinyl panties during the day, and she doesn't care if she wets or dirties them. She'll sit in it if I let her, and she will change herself if I shut her in the bathroom. She used to get excited for wearing her cotton panties, but now she begs to be put in Pull-Ups. Any ideas? The goal is for her to be in cotton panties all day every day (Pull-Ups at night) before school starts back in January.

MOST HELPFUL POSTS

Jandi - posted on 12/17/2008

26

5

4

I think a lot of the problem might be with her schedule. Weekdays she goes to daycare which probably has a pretty consistent schedule every day. Weekends are hectic (or at least they are at my house). Try setting a schedule for weekends and sticking to it for a few weeks and see if it helps. And since she seems to like being in control you could make rewards for staying dry something like her choosing what to have for dinner (you may end up eating some interesting meals...) or which movie the family will watch that night. Good luck!

Gena - posted on 12/17/2008

7

16

2

I personally believe that they do it when they are ready. I started potty training my daughter (who is now 5) when she was 18 months old. She fought me tooth and nail, then I tried again at about 24 months and again it was a nightmare! I talked to my pediatrician and he told me to let her tell me when she was ready. I bought her some panties, told her where they were, and right before her 3rd birthday, she came downstairs and told my husband and I that she went potty by herself, that was it! Ever since then, she has not had a single accident.

16 Comments

View replies by

Mandy - posted on 01/25/2015

75

0

16

The best thing you can do is get a 3 day potty training program. We tried potty training over and over and nothing was working. That when I started looking things up and got the program, BEST DECISION EVER!!! I highly recommend it, its great and helps you with a step by step plan of how to handle days 1-3, and beyond. Not all programs are great here's a review of the best http://totsandkids101.blogspot.com/2013/...

Kelina - posted on 12/17/2008

2,018

9

235

This sounds like more of a control issue rather than a not ready issue. Since I don't know what you've trie already, this may be something you've already tried. Since she seems to want attention from you give it to her. If you get upset when she has accidents she'll resist you even more. Praise her lavishly when she does go on the potty and since she seems to stick to a rountine at school, put her on the potty about the same time as she would go at school. DO NOT try to bargain with her. If need be, try bribing her. Every time she goes on the potty, give her a nickel to put in her piggy bank or something. But be consistent and stick with whatever method you choose. If you continually change the method because one method isn't working, she will get confused and continue the same pattern as she is doing now. One more thing. Take her to the store and let her pick out her own panties. If she can control something, she won't be as resistant and honestly, if it will get her to actually use the potty at home, i don;t see any problem in putting her in them. Eventualy she will choose the panties over the pullups. Good luck!

Arlene - posted on 12/17/2008

1

14

0

Try setting up a reward calendar near the potty and set a goal with her. Each time she goes to the potty put a sticker or a happy face and each time she goes on herself put a sad face The dollar store has a lot of great inexpensive little toys or knick knacs you can use as rewards also give her some time out everytime she goes on herself .. good luck

Carmen - posted on 12/17/2008

14

16

0

I had tried everything eith my little one, from books about potty training to dolls. One day I just picked up a Elmo's Potty Time DVD, it was the best thing I could have done for her. She sat for hours watching Elmo go to the potty. Then one day we sat her down and we sang all of the songs that Elmo sang in the DVD and just like magic she went. We can only get her to do pepe. We are slowly working our way to number two. Good Luck.

Amanda - posted on 12/17/2008

1

2

0

We have the most stubborn toddler boy ever as well. He's great fun - don't get me wrong but wouldn't tell us about poopy diapers and he's 3 1/2 it was really becoming an issue at his preschool blah blah blah, you know the deal. It seemed like we were going to have a 4 year old in diapers. We downloaded and followed the "3 day potty training" method from the internet. we were desperate :) and it worked! Holy freaking hell, you could have knocked us over with a feather. It was intense for the 3 days and we had a couple of days after the pee was 100% before he got it with the pooping but we did this over the Thanksgiving break and he has never had an accident in bed and he never wore pull-ups anyway, it was great and he's perfect now (with the potty, I mean). I highly recommend it. I think it is 3daypottytraining.com or similar.

Paulette - posted on 12/17/2008

565

16

93

Our son was stubborn too. We used a lot of different things like stickers, going naked, special underwear, going in and seeing daddy as an example and dvd's too. If your child is the 1st born like ours, they do not have another child to emulate. A good dvd that did have some impact was "Potty Power" due to the fact that real children show how to go potty. Once Upon A Potty--for him would be another good dvd to show him. Every child is unique and it may take a combination of things to get your son trained. If you can have play dates with another child, your son may see the other boy going on their own and want to emulate them.

Racheal - posted on 12/17/2008

4

12

0

My daughter turned three in november and she was identical to your daughter. All i did was make her sit on the toilet every hour or 2 or when i thought she would need to go it took time and ALOT of patience but she is now dry all day (except number 2's she's haing trouble with) im starting to try nights now...

Shiona - posted on 12/17/2008

2

0

0

Wish I could help but my soon to be 3 year old is just as stubborn. He actually knows when he is going to do a BM in his diaper and goes and hides. Only afterwards does he come and tell me. I have tried a chart with stickers but to no avail. When I discuss it with him, he just tells me maybe tomorrow. I have decided to spend several hours a day running him around in the kitchen with his diaper off and the potty to hand to see if that works. Good luck!

User - posted on 12/17/2008

0

0

0

I know how you feel I am potty training twins at the moment, my daughter is doing fine but my son has to be reminded all the time that he has pants on and he also insists that he takes all his clothes off including his socks every time he goes.

Shelly - posted on 12/17/2008

1

0

0

i have the same problem , my son is 3 in january and he still wont go on potty , he only tells you when he needs to go when he has done it . i am trying a new way now by putting him in knickers without his nappy and see if he goes then . but on a night he will be back in a nappy till he is full potty trained.

Shauna - posted on 12/17/2008

2

0

0

Potty training is hard. Have her going to the bathroom at scheduled times. every half hour 45 min. and keep her in the underwear. Try using a sticker chart for everytime she goes and doesn't wet the underwear. seemed to work really well with my boys. girls usually do take a little longer than boys.

Janina - posted on 12/17/2008

1

10

0

Have you tried a good girl chart. Take her to a shop and let her pick her favorite stickers,and tell her she has one on her chart if she has a wee in the potty. Also you can do a wee wee dance,i know it sounds strange,but it worked for us. When my son did a wee he would get a sticker ,then i would pick him up and we would spin round singing wee wee in the potty. Also if he wee anywhere else we would put one of his stickers in the bin.It took some time but he would rather get a sticker on his chart then a sticker in the bin...Don't let her see it gets to you if she wee in her pants let her see she missing out by not getting a sticker. My sons four now and we still use the sticker chart,not for the potty ,but for his behaviour..

Lisa - posted on 12/17/2008

6

24

1

I wouldn't rush her. If she still wants pull-ups then let her. Once she is ready she will do it. My older daughter decided on her 3rd birthday that she didn't want nappies any more and just got rid of them herself and was then dry day and night but my youngest daughter was 3 1/4 before she was ready.
Take it one day at a time and try to stay calm.
Hope this helps.

Crystal - posted on 12/17/2008

6

5

1

I have a little boy that is 3, he turned 3 in October, and he is very sporadic with potty training as well. I have tried EVERYTHING, even trying to bribe him with treats or small toys ( I am aware of the possible consequences of this). He is the same way, he just does not care. It is not easy, I have been told to just be consistent and it will pay off. Way to go for her going on her own with a BM though, my son still has not done that in a toilet at all.

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms