PPD and Gender disappointment....help!

Chelle - posted on 06/22/2012 ( 1 mom has responded )




I will try to keep this short but if you have some advice please read the whole thing.
My Hubby is the last remaining boy in his family. He has two sisters, no cousins and if he does not have a boy, well, to put it bluntly the family name dies with him.

Our oldest, a boy, is not biologically his but he has been, in every sense of the word...Daddy to him. We had all rights signed over to us when he was four and we have just began the process for my hubby to formally adopt him. My strong willed son, has insisted that he keep his last name (he is six) and does not want to change it. We are not going to make him as this IS his identity and I believe it should be his choice (he has my maiden name.)

We had a beautiful daughter last year, she is nine months. I always wanted a girl and I know my hubby was bummed but now princess has him wrapped around her finger. I began showing signs of PPD and PPP shortly after I had her. It got pretty bad until I was able to get some help and get on proper medication. It's been a nightmare. We had a Opps! (I took plan B and everything) and well, we are pregnant again and I had to go off my medication until after the baby is born. My symptoms have already started flaring up again. This pregnancy has been a mercy on me though, no major symptoms or problems, which led me to believe it was a boy. My daughter, I'm pretty sure, tried to kill me with morning sickness, fatigue, headaches and all that.

I'm 21 weeks and our ultrasound showed girl. I think my husband is still in shock....and I don't think I've stopped crying. We always told ourselves, three and I would have my tubes tied in the last C/S. He asked my doctor yesterday in the follow up, if it's healthy for me to have four C/S. He said yes, that I'm healthy and young. I'm more worried about the PPD/PPP.

1. Four C/S is a lot. Pregnancy is a lot on my body.
2. Four children is a lot to financially be responsible for...
3. I am TERRIFIED of PPP again. If you have had it before, you know.
4. What are the odds we could even have a boy this next time around?? Am I supposed to just be okay with my husband being the last of his family???
5. How can I be okay with having a girl...when my biggest fear was getting sick again?

Please help. Please give me advice. I feel like I'm going to explode with sadness.


Sarah - posted on 06/23/2012




My sister had a son, then met her husband when he was 4. They got married, had a baby girl. Then they had another girl. Then they tried one last time for a boy, and had another girl. My bro-in-law was so disappointed, and although he loves his girls, we still see it in his face when he sees our son. There are no guarantees if you have a fourth that it will be a boy. Look at your situation. Can you afford it? Do YOU want another one? Would your hubby resent the fourth if it were a girl? Your son carries your maiden name. Possibly one of your girls could have a child with her maiden name - carrying the name on. I do understand. My husband has a brother who will NEVER have kids. We had pressure to have a boy and carry on the family name too. The truth is, a name isn't important. It's the love a family has for each other that lives on, not how you spell a name.

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