Pre-adoption thoughts

Anna - posted on 06/02/2015 ( 2 moms have responded )

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Hi mummies!
I am considering adopting a 1 year old girl whose birth mother drunk and took drugs throughout pregnancy. The girl is doing great at the moment, reaching her milestones and thriving. She only has mild facial features of FAS. Other than that nothing can be said at this stage. I am looking for some positive thoughts from parents who adopted children with FAS or children whose birth mothers abused substances during pregnancy. Can she remain relatively unscathed by her mother's drinking? Isit too early to say anything yet? Does bringing up a child with FAS always has to be challenging? Thank you for all your thoughts

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Anna - posted on 06/03/2015

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Thank you Sarah, I do know all of the theory etc, I have read lots and lots....I was hoping to get in touch with mums who were/are in a similar situation so that they can share their personal experience. I do fear worst but hope for the best though! Children can be tough little fighters!

Sarah - posted on 06/02/2015

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You are not going to know the amount of severity of the FAS until she gets older. You can't compare one child with FAS to another. Since the damage is done to whatever is developing in utero at the time of abuse, every child will be different. Some will show no facial features of FAS, but have severe brain damage, others will show facial features of FAS but not as much brain damage, and others will have facial features of FAS and have severe brain damage. The common brain damage is to the frontal lobe, which is cause and effect. So many FAS kids can't get (understand) cause and effect. Ironically the alcohol abuse does more damage than the drug abuse. Best advise is to be prepared for the worst case and hope for the best. If you are prepared for the worst then you have already set up plans for how you would handle things and know how to best help your child.....verses hoping it is not the worst and not being prepared ahead of time and then searching for help when things are out of control and you are overwhelmed and in crisis. FAS is always going to have challenges.

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