Jacqui - posted on 05/05/2012 ( 3 moms have responded )
With Mothers Day almost upon us, suddenly we mums have a licence to be selfish - to have a day or at least a part of it to spoil ourselves. Goodness knows the rest of the time there is an expectation for us to be utterly selfless. To give ourselves to everyone else, to allow ourselves to be pulled and pawed in all directions.
Prior to having children you have no concept of the preciousness of your time. You waste it, frivel it away on nothing. Suddenly you have a child and your time is gone. Smashed to smithereens.
When your children are babies you might have a little bit of time while they nap. But, as they grow and nap-time reduces, then any non-child time you do have you guard jealously. Now my children are older they rarely nap at all. It means that the little bit of time I have when both are at kindy (there seems to be an hour 3 times a week of non-child time), I hold on to for all I’m worth. If anything or anyone interrupts that precious me-time then I lose all sense of civility.
The other day I was writing my blog and there was a knock at the door. Both children were at Kindy and I had one hour to get my thoughts together and do some writing. I cursed and pretended I hadn’t heard it. The person knocked again. Grumbling, I went to answer it. It was a girlfriend popping in to say hi and have a quick cuppa. ‘You’ve got to be kidding me,’ I thought. I was ungracious and uninviting. She in turn was affronted and put-out.
For her who lives alone she had no concept of how precious my time was and couldn’t understand why I couldn’t spare 20 minutes to have a non-children interrupting chat with her. I was so ungracious that in the end she left. I then immediately felt guilty. Am I alone in this kind of reaction? Am I being totally selfish in jealously guarding my non-child time like that?