Pregnancy without the father...

Jess - posted on 02/12/2015 ( 4 moms have responded )

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So.. I just recently found out that I am pregnant, about 6 1/2 weeks... well when I told the father, he was like you have 3 options.. 1: get an abortion, 2: do an adoption, or 3: hope you have a miscarriage.... So I left him. The issues I am having now isn't the whole I'm feeling alone thing, it's the what do I do from here. Do I try to let him be involved if he wants to? or do I just ignore him, and raise this baby alone? I personally feel like him not being involved is the best thing for the baby, but I keep thinking about when the child is older, and asking where's daddy... I'm only 21, and I just want to be a good parent... This is truly a miracle baby, and I'm willing to do whatever it takes, but I'm afraid for my childs' mental, and physical saftey... what do I do?

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Jodi - posted on 02/12/2015

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It's really not up to you to make the decision as to whether he should be involved. If he decides he wants to be, the courts will allow it. Whatever you do, if he tries to be involved, do NOT ignore him. This is called parental alienation and people lose custody because of it.

As the others said, establish paternity, file for support, custody and visitation.

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 02/12/2015

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Establish paternity, file for support and custody once the child is born.

If he decides he wants visitation, set it in court.

Sarah - posted on 02/12/2015

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In addition to Raye's good advice; no matter how you feel about him at the time, put his name on the birth certificate.

Raye - posted on 02/12/2015

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He should be involved in the child's life if he wants to, but since he doesn't right now, here's what you need to do once the baby is born....
1) go to court, get a DNA test done and establish paternity
2) get the court to award you custody and ask for child support
3) if he want's visitation, have the court award him visitation
4) try to be the best parent for that child

It takes two people to make a baby. If he didn't want to be responsible for a child, he should not have had sex or should have used reliable protection. He doesn't have to be physically involved with the child, but he's on the hook financially whether he likes it or not.

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