pregnant and unappreciated

Te Manihera - posted on 01/10/2014 ( 1 mom has responded )

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Hi mums i just need to vent a little !!
i am 20years old and have a 1year old daughter and am 7 1/2 months pregnant i am currently with the father of my children.
we have been together for 5years.
lately i have been feeling very unappreciated by mostly my partner, he works and i am a stay at home mum. for some reason he has in his head that because he works and makes the money i do nothing at home all day! and i personaly think that looking after a child all day everyday is a full time job that never ends, especially when pregnant!!
since fining out we are expecting again i feel like he hasnt tried to make things easier for me, like helping me out with our daughter more or cleaning up, he can clearly see that i am very tired and sore but still chooses to sit on the computer or go to the gym! i feel like to him our daughter comes first he comes second and then im last!
for birthdays, christmas or mothers day hes never made an effort to get me things from the heart, ive always had to tell him, and it makes me sad because we have been together for 5years and he doesnt even no what i would like !! i put in so much effort and heart into the things i get him it just hurts my feelings when he cant even think of something nice to get me, i dunno maybe i ask to much ????
i have talked to my partner about my feelings about how i no longer feel special to him anymore like all im here for is to looke after our daughter and cook him dinner, he said he now understands how i feel and he knows what i want from him but nothing has changed!! i dont know if this is just me or pregnancy hormones, so confused ?? :(

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Jodi - posted on 01/10/2014

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Have you actually talked to him about how you feel? Have you asked him for help? Men are not mind readers. In fact, they are not very good at guessing what we need all the time either.

My husband will sit in front of the TV all evening long while I do things around him if I didn't ask him for help. It's not that he's being inconsiderate, it is often that he just doesn't see the house the way I do. He doesn't look at something and think "that needs doing, I think I will do that". He needs a prompt, he needs direction, he needs to be asked. A little "honey, can you give me a hand with this" or "could I leave this with you to do?" or "are you busy at the moment, because I could really use some help getting this done" is always met positively.

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