Pregnant at 44, after 2 back to back Miscarriages. SCARED AS HELL!!!!!!!!!!!

Marjie - posted on 02/03/2014 ( no moms have responded yet )

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Hello Everyone, I'm Marjie, but I go by "M" (because my name sounds so old.) Here's a little history about my prgenancy journey. When I was 41 I tried 3 rounds of expensive fertilty treatments, with no luck. The doctor told me pics of a 21 year old eggs and the a picture of a 41 year old eggs. I tried to hold my composer, to show that I understood my chances. After that day I completely gave up, I stopped the fertility drugs and told myself that "I guess I will never be a mom." I told this to myself over and over again, ntil it sunk in. But 6 months later I got pregnant, WOW was I excited. I was 5 weeks when I found out and 6 weeks when I miscarried. Total devastation, guilt, hurt and shame. Then 1 year later the same thing happened again, and this time it was even worst because my friend was preggo too, we were 2 weeks apart. Now to see her with her son, knowing I suffered a lost hurts bad. Both these two times I was not trying at all. Now, today I am 44 and 5 weeks 3 days preggo. I just found out this weekend, planning a doctor visit ASAP. I am so scared because all I've been reading (before this blog) was that all the possibilities of my me miscarrying again, or having a baby with disabilities. I AM SO SCARED I SHAKE, EVERYTIME I GO PEE I THANK GOD THAT THERE IS NO BLOOD THERE. I DON'T WANT TO WORRY MYSELF INTO LOOSING MY BABY, BUT I AM TERRIFIED OF ANOTHER MISCARRIAGE!! (sorry for being a little lengthy.)

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