pregnant by a cop who lied to me and is now a threat to my pregnancy. help! unborn custody advice needed

Miriam - posted on 05/11/2014 ( 2 moms have responded )




I was seeing a police officer for 8mths. I thought it was serious between him and I until I found out im 1 mth pregnant by his child and the whole time we were together, he was already living with someone in a 3 year relationship and was lying to me this whole time. Now that I am pregnant, he is telling me that his heart is for this other girl. So his priority has been her throughout the pregnancy not me. I am super emotionally stressed out and I have asked the girl to please stop interfering and let us form a family. He said we r a family meaning me him and unborn child, but this 25 yr old girl is still involved and it is stressing me out to the point where its affecting my health and putting a danger to the pregnancy because of all the emotional stress. Is there a way I can serve her papers to get her out of the way so she is not involved when this baby is born?also is there a way I can already serve him joint visitation rights and not full?I dont trust him. I have no support from him and his priority is her. He is making my pregnancy full of stress and heartache and unhealthy. he is trying to intimidate me because he says hes a cop and knows the law. He says he has rights to doctors visits during the pregnancy but how can I have him involved in the pregnancy visits if he is emotionally stressing me out by seeing me and seeing this other girl. I am so stressed and im afraid I can misscarry if this continues.


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Jodi - posted on 05/11/2014




I don't quite know what you mean by joint visitation rights, do you mean joint custody?

He does not have the right to be at the doctor visits, or even the birth if you don't want him there. Stop allowing him to intimidate you. Tell him that if he wants to be in those visits, he can seek the court order to force you, in the meantime, stop telling him when your appointments are and just go.

He does not mean that you are a family (him you and the baby). He has made his decision about his girlfriend, stop allowing him to lie to you about the relationship with you.

Now, having said that, this IS his child. He will have rights when the child is born, and that will most probably include some level of custody/visitation. It is unlikely you can remove the girlfriend from your child's life, because they have been together for 3 years.

The best thing you could do is talk to a lawyer to put your mind at ease.

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